One of those days at work today. Actually the week has been difficult, with recovering from the two surgical procedures and the subsequent falling behind in my professional duties. My energy pulled in various directions. What is a musician to do? As the aphorism says - We Begin Again Constantly. I'm no longer at work so let them be, yet ...
And then I saw this photo, the tree reminding me of my desire for musical growth and expression. There is plenty of space to support my growth but also the clutter. My worn out methods of reaction and use. These old habits drain my energy and twist my attention to and fro, until I remember to come back to the present moment. So back to the question - what to do? Apply the aphorism, apply the practice, and unpack my guitar. Let go; breath in; release.
Music is a great teacher for coming to grips with our own inner police force. There is a way I can become very demanding of myself over things that I enjoy and love. I used to project the demand outward as if others were demanding, as if music was demanding. Now I know, it's just me being demanding of myself. Now, I know that "practice makes perfect" is not the point for me, because perfect is a form and illusory place of arrival. Practice is a journey and on some days, we rest.
ReplyDeleteI love your dedication. I love how you are disciplined at removing the baggage. The tree photo really gives me a sense of what you are feeling.
You've told me the past few tweets to be gentle with myself. You be gentle with you Patrick! Music is forgiving. Play when you can, and when you do, let it be tender.
Thanks Kathy. I did play and it was tender. Music is forgiving as you say and healing also. The clutter I am referring to is the demands of people and my reactions, and during my better moments - responses to them. Today my responses were aligned with how I wish them to be, yet still there is a drain from the experience.
ReplyDeleteBut then with just a few minutes of playing I forgot all about them and could listen to the music coming from my guitar. Then I know all is well, progress has been made. And for moments I can be free and gentle. Thanks for caring.
So grateful that "Music the great teacher" is in our lives.