Tuesday, November 30, 2010

When An Ending No Longer Works.

Risiera di San Sabba, an italian lager #2
Last night I took an evening off from practicing. The tendon in my left wrist that developed tendonitis a few years back was getting tight. This is never a good sign and with a gig coming up with The Field next week I need to pace myself carefully. If pain develops I stop! Injury is not worth the recovery process.

I was also told to slow down by my vein doctor today. Geesh what do they think I'm getting old? My left calf is still recovering from the procedure and my job has me on my feet enough to distress the recovery. So I came home and rested tonight per the doc's suggestion. I let go of my AT class.

I opened my playing with Journeyman, Gathered Hearts, & Kinnara. Then a good look at Broken Wing which is one of the three pieces I will perform at The Field next week. Worked on two trouble spots and then played through the piece twice. The energy of the music is felling good. I was ready to move on to Stepping Stones but decided to play through a new work called Becoming. This is recorded in a few versions but not notated. Becoming could easily get lost in the coming days with the performance and added pressures on the day job.

While playing through Becoming there is a rocking part for a while. Tonight it rocked a bit more with a new part being exposed to me. Of course this new part does not fit with the current ending. So what I told myself, this piece is less than a week old. Get out of the way and let it flow. There may be a new ending or a new path to the old ending. Play, generate, and let go of preconceived notions.


  1. love this - so true and a great metaphor for life and essence vs form. The essence of the piece has dreamed itself into being through you and it has, in its dreaming, evolved so something, in this case the ending, has to go. The form still exists to some degree in its original state, but for the essence to be fully expressed, it had to give way and become something different.

    Isn't that how we live? Isn't that what causes suffering: our attachment to the ending (the goal, the originally visioned form)?

    Music is such a wonderful teacher when we, like you, are the willing student. True also of life.

  2. Yes, remaining open to the form of music and life is the work at hand. My tendency is to be fixed and hammer anything to fit my notion. When I can allow what is to be, life gains.