Maintaining focus, while others were whirling emotionally, was the necessity of this day. In the midst of a difficult encounter, my left leg began to ache again. I remembered what David Jernigan reminded me during our Alexander Technique session last night. "I have a practice to deal with stress" was his gentle reminder. So when the ache began, I knew the out of tune ensemble I was currently playing with was an opportunity to breath. To come back to myself, to the music that I wish to play in this life. Then I directed my back and spine to lengthen and widen, and the ache in my leg dulled. My refrain to the cacophony being carelessly played around me was to say nothing, just rest on my breath, and not feed the energy. No need to defend, explain, nor to point out the weakness in the others playing, but to listen, hold what was true and to leave the rest. My heart went out to one of the other players in this group. I am not sure why they were invited in today. His skill, buffered with a real sense of good will, allowed them to remain in tune and put a few good notes into the noise.
At home I retreated to my guitar, allowing the strings to soothe me, to point me to my true home. Working on the rough spots in the pieces I am to perform tomorrow night. Resting on the beauty of music, allowing the vibrations to enter and to comfort me. Soon a run through for my wife and a friend. Then to change my strings and rest. Ever so grateful for my practice and all the wonderful musical souls I have played with throughout the years. Without them today would have been hell, instead just some time in purgatory. Keep breathing.
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