Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Why Doors Remain Closed

 While continuing to bring order to the "stuff" in my practice space, I came across this gem I had written on a piece of paper by Anh-Huong Nguyen.

            So many doors remain closed because of fear, habits, or knowledge.
 Anh-Huong is my local meditation teacher who runs the Mindfulness Practice Center of Fairfax with her husband Thu.  They have shed so much light in my life and when I found this quote I just beamed.  Reflecting on this I saw the relationship of these closed doors to my musical pursuits.  For years fear had me so locked into myself that performing music was an ordeal.  Shaking, sweats, and the negative self-talk before and after was debilitating.  Slowly through meditation, reflection, and experience this has lessened to an amazing degree.  And this change has permeated the rest of my life.

Habits continue to manifest and again are being released through my mindfulness practices, with a particular emphasis with the Alexander Technique.  AT allows me to see and change my psycho-physical habits of use.  Meditation and the mindfulness trainings give me guidance to dealing with all of my habit energies.

Knowledge, the word which philosophers have been dissecting for centuries, gives me pause with in this quote.  Yet I have a sense of how my "justified, true, beliefs" to quote Plato, do keep me behind certain doors.  The same mindfulness practices will unlock these doors, I am certain. Sounds like a "justified, true, belief" to me.  So I continue to probe, to breath, to listen, and to learn.  When I release my fears, habits, and knowledge - the creative spirit just might have an opportunity to be heard.

                                        Photo by Carbon 111

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