Saturday, February 25, 2012
Where Does Fear Reside?
A rare morning, home alone, I noticed as soon as I woke that there was still a certain freedom present in me from my AT work last night. Very similar to the day after a good AT lesson or an hour's worth of Qi Gong under the direction of Nianzu Li. This sense was heightened by my personal Qi Gong practice and then as I practiced my sitting meditation, I noticed how alive and still my body was immediately. As I scanned my body, I became aware of that area of my back that habitually holds tensions. Is this where fear is stored within me I wondered?
Breathing into this area, directing my neck to be free and my spine and back to be long and wide. The thought arrived may my neck be free of fear. Where did this come from? Then I sensed those muscles of the neck that go much deeper into my chest and back then I ever realized prior to working with AT. How many times in my life have I flinched at mistakes or had my startle response triggered by real or imaginary actions? Have these episode been completed and released or do they still reside within my body/mind complex. Of course they do is the quick answer, but I know these fears are not as omnipresent as they once were.
As I noted last night Clouds Never Die, and neither do my experiences. Transformation is possible though. The Clouds of my life frequently obscure truth and may even be buried deep within. Patient, deliberate and directed practice will continue to yield positive results in a slow incremental fashion. Then the occasional leap arrives. Dancing across the sky with abandon, fears shed and light shines. The potential for a leap is always present, but the causes and conditions need to be nourished. How are you nourishing your self right now? Where is your awareness right Now?