Wednesday, March 28, 2012
There's been a energy blockage in my system. Inflammation and needed caution slowed me, alarmed me, and led me to seek help. Recent practice evenings have been gentle and brief to allow my body to rest and to allow my mind to think constructively about my use.
Fortunately the blockage is removed, but the system has been disrupted. What to do? After some technical exercises, I began looking at partial scores as a possible beginning point. Perhaps I should listen to what I have of these ideas on tape. Get myself organized better to move forward? What? No,no, no - revisiting the past this evening was not the right action.
I needed to Act. To embrace the unknown, face a blank score, and brush my resistance aside. Connect with my muse and ignite the system once more. Can I just play a note or a chord and follow the promptings? Can I trust the process once again? Only if I play what I don't know, that's the only way. Listen to the notes, stop the chatter, and play. So I did. The tape was running but this is not the time to reflect on the outcome. For tonight my work is done, the path found again; if only as far as the next step.