Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Trust is Fragile
Another wonderful Alexander Technique class with David Jernigan tonight. R. has returned from her travels and a new student Rl was also present. This was the first exposure of Rl to the Technique and it was interesting and refreshing to be there with him. I was able to stay with what David was suggesting in words to each student and keep the directions active in my own thinking. I have found this useful in the past and especially so tonight.
After having wrote the above line, I paused and invited myself to lengthen and widen by using the AT directions. When it was my time to play guitar, I choose Kinnara. A simple piece with a haunting mystery when played well. Of late I have been unable to play this piece well. This began during the live recordings last month and I continue to get lost in my thinking or fingerings. Never one to be easy on myself I decided to face the mirror to play. Then I decided to not look into the mirror & go inward. David stopped me & invited me to take in the world. I did but stumbled on the first chord repeatedly. Beginning again one more time I trusted that I could play this, my left hand found the opening chord with ease. After playing David asked me what was different and I told them I was trusting.
When I came home I had no problem beginning this piece solidly five times in a row. After tending to other tasks I again was able to begin this piece well a few more times. So why the difficulty in playing this music for supportive people, two of whom I have grown fond of, and a mirror? What is being reflected that I need to see? What can I not see or will not see?