Is it the outcome or the effort, I just found myself questioning? This morning began with me playing with the idea titled Corvus, and before I left my home I thought something had moved forward and actually something had. During my work on Corvus, I found myself concentrating hard at some point, when I noticed how my body was scrunching in and around the guitar. Pausing and connecting with my body, I found space within and around me. As I began to play again, I immediately heard how my tone had improved. Then the notes began to connect with the melody I had so far. As I connected with the space and lightness of the piece, my body mirrored this further.
After taping and notating I had to leave for a meeting. During my drive, I thought that working to complete these three ideas had a higher probability of being realized if I had to perform them. Checking with my wife, we decided to invite friends over next Saturday. Returning to work on Corvus tonight, the ideas did not all fall into place. Now I'm wondering if this will come together. And there are still the other two pieces. Oh my, self doubt and negativity can arise so quickly. Let the fun begin; the efforts provide the opportunities, the answers, and occasionally - music.
Patrick, when you're working on a piece, it's kind of like being pregnant. The piece is part of you in an intimate way. After it is born, it will have a life where it converses with others, sometimes quite deeply. But no one will ever feel the same intensity of connection that you felt while you were pregnant with it.
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