Practicing Awareness

My awareness was strong until the ninth piece when I began to waver.Expect the unexpected.  Tonight my wife was supposed to be out of the house for the evening.  I created a set list for a house concert this coming Saturday night and was preparing to run it.  My intention for this performance is to be aware and to connect positively with the audience.  I continue to work with the 16 exercises of Mindful Breathing from the Sutra on the Full Awareness of Breathing.  Thich Nhat Hahn's masterful commentary on this Sutra is the subject of his book Breathe! You Are Alive.  These practices have been deepening my relationships with my body and mind, establishing mindfulness throughout my day.

Tonight as I was sitting on my stool, aware of my body and mind, quietly preparing to play, I heard the door open. My wife was home early.  I invited her, my number one audient, to listen to the set.  She graciously accepted.

After tuning, I reminded myself of my intention, and began to play.  The set consists of 10 pieces.  I was able to maintain the energy of a piece when a mistake occurred a few times, and not get lost nor distracted.  My awareness was strong until the ninth piece when I began to waver. During this piece as I was getting tired, I noticed I was beginning to slump towards the guitar and my legs began to "grasp" at the floor.  Holding on, better if I could have invited in the 16th exercise and concentrated on letting go.  Always so good to have such a loving supportive presence available to music in the form of my wife.  She is an active listener and her support is palpable.  Any night that I would play as well as I did tonight is a success.  I sense that something may be coming together, after years of practice.  The sensitivity of my new guitar also is a contributing factor.  I am a fortunate man to have much love and music in my life.