Harmonic Experience: Tonal Harmony from Its Natural Origins to Its Modern Expression. Periodically I look at work again, but am usually overwhelmed. Last night I saw a bit of hope in moving forward with this if only a tiny bit. Most of my musical progress comes from small but persistent efforts.
Tonight I decided to play with these ideas and something began to take off. I was making notes on this, with my guitar on, seated by my desk. A recipe for what the Alexander Technique calls poor use. I loose awareness of myself, and twist & torque my body. But the notes were made on what I had so far. I decided to do a lie down and was grateful as my back touched the floor. The tension generated by tiredness and poor use had me. As this released I began audiating what I had so far, I heard something exciting happening. Then this stupid little fear whispered - but you'll never be able to play that.
I could not believe it. And I also chose not to listen to the fear. I returned to playing & exploring. Willing to allow the muse to speak and to do what is necessary to allow her to be heard. Ive had a lot of dealings with fear over the years, but this was a new one.