Ready to practice and I heard this thought - time to resume music connection. What does that mean - connection? Pick up my guitar & play.
After working on my nails and exploring notes the thought of connection returned. Do I want to connect or repeat, that is explore the music of the moment or play/practice pieces that exist. I decided to let go of repeat for now, embrace the new and connect. After a while this felt like noodling.
Then a spark. Attempts to ignite, maybe; maybe not. Let go then a bigger spark. Persist. Let go.
I know not where music comes from.
What is the question I have not asked?
What is the music I can not hear?
Sticking with the uncertainty. Lost and confused, go ahead abandon the search and play something you know. But I know that right now, playing something I know would in a sense be a cheap thrill. Suffer through the feelings of inadequacy, the why's and self-deprecation. Visiting a C sharp again, an idea for a tuning arose. Yeah get more lost. And I did. Then another musical idea arose. Played with and explored a bit. Wrote it down and broke for lunch.
Looked at the idea again and took it further. Still much uncertainty. Still the uncertainty. I know that regardless of a complete piece of music I always learn in these situations. And I have notebooks full of ideas. Brought some with me for this retreat. May or may not give these old ideas a look.
One more visit after dinner and a film. Where the piece was previously took off a bit. Found myself playing in 11, here goes. Until tomorrow.
Tuning is low to high C# G D B F# G and so it goes.