Around the Edge of Habit

One of the reasons that Lynn Brice Rosen suggested playing around with my guitar during a lie down is "A musician's instrument is a powerful stimulus, often triggering patterned responses even when nothing's being played."  So very true.  This was illustrated last night at my session with David Jernigan when, as I was semi-supine on the floor, he simply plucked an open string as the guitar lay in the case.  There was a flutter in my chest, almost a longing, and a bit of who is that playing my guitar.  As he continued to play open strings I worked with staying with my body but the distraction of merely hearing my guitar was pulling me.  When I could see him begin to lift the guitar from the case, I had another reaction, but then he set it back.

Tonight I was preparing to play, by first doing a lie down to release the toll of my day.  As I hit the floor I wondered, suppose I did not play after the lie down but did something else.  Seeing an opportunity to exercise a real choice here, I choose to not move to playing right after the lie down.  Then the stories began, but then the time doing constructive rest is wasted if you just clean your desk.  You could sit with the guitar. Or play your dumbek instead, at least this would be musical I reasoned.  But the habitual pull of moving from lie down needed to be inhibited.  Upon arising I sorted through some old food sections for a few minutes.  Then as I moved toward the guitar I began singing and even began to dance.  Some spirited playing ensued.

Habits are so strong, and sometimes even very good habits need to be examined and set free.

Photo by Michael C Clark

Deconstructive Rest

Thanks to a comment left here by Lynn Brice Rosen, an AT instructor, I did an experiment with doing a lie down with my guitar.  I had contacted David Jernigan about exploring this in our AT class tonight and I am grateful that we did.

David did a little AT work with me, inviting in length and width before putting me on the floor.  I am going to jump right to the results of our work.  When I rose from the floor there was an expansiveness in my upper torso, a solidity in my relationship to my feet, and a deconstruction of what it meant to have a guitar in my hands.

Arriving home, I was improvising with an idea that came to me during my commute this morning and noticed how free and in the space I was.  Ironically when I began later to play a piece, the mental chatter arose.  This continued, even with pauses to inhibit, until I abandoned the idea of playing a piece from this wonderful state and returned to improvising.  I taped the session with David and may blog about the details at a later date.  David's openness, directions, and leaps into the unknown were immense. 

The work remains, as always, how to be available to the guitar and music in the present moment.  Tonight offered a oblique way in, that I suspect will have repercussions for some time.

Body Maps Haiku

 

Body maps construe

Means-whereby I think I do.

Release, refine, Me.

The Question Remains - Where Am I?

Doing a pre-guitar practice lie down, I noticed the area below my right shoulder blade that sometimes becomes sore from playing. Direct anatomical expression of this area is beyond my competence, and the muscle in question may even lay deeper within my back or within my neck.   I do know the area was sore.  I focused my thinking on letting go of this tension.  Then I took a more universal approach and thought of allowing my neck to be free.  Where within the muscular pathways of my neck am I "holding on," or using myself poorly.

As I continued the lie down and thought of releasing my neck, the discomfort left.  I wondered about the discomfort I have noticed in the upper part of my forearm of late.  What is the relationship between what I often notice in my back and what is happening in my forearm.  How am I using myself right now as I type?  I found a slight lifting of my shoulder and a shortening of my arm.  Where and when did I learn this pattern of use?  This is not the first time I have observed this manifestation.  Certainly there is a cause, a habit that has evolved within me that has led to this being regular and now causing discomfort. Now my work is to let go of this habit as a typist, as a guitarist, even in how I hold a cup of coffee.

Finding freedom of use within any activity, invites in this freedom to all activities. So the question becomes Where am I?  Am I typing mechanically or am I aware of my body, my breath, as I express these thoughts with my lap top? 


From my work with the Alexander Technique and examining anatomy texts, I have gained a much greater appreciation of the number of muscles that comprise what we call our necks.  These muscles extend deeper and further in the back and the chest than I had ever imagined.  As they layer and extend through the passages around bone, tension in one will impact the flexibility of others.  Conversely freedom in one affects the rest. Regardless of my state before a lie down, I always rise in a better one.  Free and aware, my musculo-skeletal system placed at an advantage for me to undertake activity. Time for another lie down before I pick up my guitar.

Connected, Happy, and Free

Ever so grateful for the day job, but the work sure does take a lot out of me.  Fortunately there are the practices that nourish and sustain me physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Without them I'd be either a raving lunatic or dead.  So I practice.

Even with my exhaustion I was eager to pick up my guitar tonight, until I hit the basement that is.  Noticing the tension and tiredness I was carrying, I hit the floor for an AT lie down.  A nice long one, just over twenty minutes.  Contemplating my body and letting go of the unnecessary tension that was clouding my thinking and hampering movement.  I did not want to get up, and as I rolled over to get up, I was tempted to just go to bed.

But I have my goals and one of them is putting myself out there and looking for new music for 15 minutes a night.  I knew I could do this.  And I also knew that the energy inherent in reaching for and taking responsibility for my goal, my wishes, would carry me further.  I began playing Journeyman's Way Home to touch innocence and then began improvising in a pattern of 5/7/5.  The attention required to do this, coupled with the relaxation induced by the lie down, woke me up.  I was connected, happy, and free.  What more could I ask for.  Where would I be without Music?


Art is not what you see but what you make others see.  - Edgar Degas

Haiku Informs Me

Since December 31st, I've been on a Haiku kick. Writing Haiku has never been a pursuit, but suddenly I find myself playing with these 5/7/5 syllable word patterns.  Some of the outcomes have surprised me. Time always becomes very precious and in short demand in my life come mid-November.  Professional demands amp up with the Holidays, the end of our fiscal year, and our pending annual licensure inspection.  Then there is my own family and personal Holiday celebrations.  Thus thinking/writing in 17 syllable bursts appears to be efficient. Who knows why this has arrived, but I am in welcoming mode.

On my drive home, the thought arose around using the 5/7/5 as a form for a series of solo guitar pieces. Shortly afters the winter dusk inspired another Haiku, I pulled over to jot this down.  Maybe even a combinations of spoken Haiku and music arose.  Felt good to be open to the possible.

On Sunday I was working on my personal goals for this month, but did not complete writing them out.  After a good short talk with my friend Tom Redmond today, I completed this important task this evening.  Tonight I was a bit more realistic regrading my goals, with my time and circumstances this month.  I've already worked 30 hours in 3 days this week. The goals are actionable, which is a very important factor.  One of the goals is to spend 15 minutes per day to invite in new music.  Playing with the idea of a Haiku form tonight, I enjoyed an hour and a half of creating a new piece.  As Tom has frequently stated these personal goals energize me to do the work I need to do both professionally and personally.  If you happen to be in sales check out his book, Selling From the Inside Out.  Even if you are not in sales, Tom's thoughts and ideas will add value to your life.

While taking a break from my playing earlier this Haiku arrived

                         Haiku informs me.

              Notes form sentiments in sound.

                         Listening to sea.

Silent Seeing

                                                                
      
 
      Habit - what to play?

Letting needed notes appear,

             Music whispers, sighs.