Thursday, February 24, 2011
A Near Mistake
photo by Tj Matthews
Some days are tough. Circumstances, reactions, habits, and tiredness collide and I get lost. Kept coming back to my breath, to giving myself the AT directions, and then another straw would be added to my load. Lost, return, lost, lost, slight return. A downward spiral ...
I came home exhausted. After resting and dinner, I watched Without a Trace, and then watched another one. Perhaps it was time for a night off from the guitar, to make no more demands. Then another reaction, and I retreated to my practice space. Working with an idea David gave me in AT class, I began to play Gathered Hearts. A slight shift in my energy, and I moved onto Livin' the Dream. Releasing the pent up feelings and realizing that tonight I needed to play music. Feeling the notes, listening to the feelings, and connecting with what is good in me. More playing led to more release, and with release I touched what is good. After improvising for a while, I moved to exploring A Lydian. A subtle connection with a larger community, a vital community.
There is a time and place for a night off from practicing. But tonight I needed my practice, needed music to help restore me. Grateful that this mistake was averted, hope rekindled, and now to rest.