Thursday, February 24, 2011

A Near Mistake

                                    photo by Tj Matthews

Some days are tough.  Circumstances, reactions, habits, and tiredness collide and I get lost.  Kept coming back to my breath, to giving myself the AT directions, and then another straw would be added to my load.  Lost, return, lost, lost, slight return.  A downward spiral ...

I came home exhausted. After resting and dinner, I watched Without a Trace, and then watched another one.  Perhaps it was time for a night off from the guitar, to make no more demands.  Then another reaction,  and I retreated to my practice space.  Working with an idea David gave me in AT class, I began to play Gathered Hearts.  A slight shift in my energy, and I moved onto Livin' the Dream.  Releasing the pent up feelings and realizing that tonight I needed to play music.  Feeling the notes, listening to the feelings,  and connecting with what is good in me.  More playing led to more release, and with release I touched what is good.  After improvising for a while, I moved to exploring A Lydian.  A subtle connection with a larger community, a vital community.

There is a time and place for a night off from practicing.  But tonight I needed my practice, needed music to help restore me.  Grateful that this mistake was averted, hope rekindled, and now to rest.

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