Release

Happy Birthday Sharon.  Today would have been my sisters 61st birthday, a person who gave me more understanding then I deserved.

Release - to set free. Constant release - what is required to attain this?

                                    Photo by Pablo Mandel


 The Alexander Techniques provides us with a set of directions to free our neck, release our head and spine, and to release our legs from our pelvis.  When we are free, our ability to perform simple or refined tasks, is enhanced.  Being free of our habitual reactions, we become able to choose new responses.  In releasing my habits, I may be freeing myself from historical transmissions passed on for generations.  All by giving myself these simple directions.

But is all the release physical? I think not.  Judgements of myself and others certainly have blocked my way.  Opinions as to how to practice, have also lead me down fruitless paths.  What I do with this information can then bear fruit, but more is available when following the directions laid down by a Master in the field of endeavor.  As my thinking is clarified, my learning increases and from here understanding can grow.

Negative emotions can and must also be released.  Fear has been the number one interference in my musical endeavors.  Where did this come from and why?  The answer to this might take lifetimes, but through various practices including meditation, AT, and much work with the guitar, the role of fear has lessened considerably. Other negative emotions can be just as damning, but even positive emotions can distract me from the present moment and thus from my playing.  Equanimity, releasing concern for the results of what I am practice and remaining in the practice is key; yet remains elusive.

Playing from the silence of the body, mind, and heart releases music into our world.  Finding unity in myself is crucial to the functioning of our world.  To develop this unity I need others, a path of mindfulness based on true experience, and help from beyond, one day at a time.

The practice continues ...

Four hours later:

While practicing just now, with a focus on release, I was enjoying developing speed with my right hand and then I moved onto working with right hand arpeggios.  A certain ease developed during this work and I played through Here We Are, and then began working on a tricky chord change in the high register of the guitar.  The ease was still present.  Noticing, how I was using my elbows to support this, along the lines of Sandra Bain Cushman's The Five Relations, I continued to work this chord change.

Suddenly I smiled when I realized that the word release contains the word "ease." 

Minding My Choices

Release was the word for the day today, as we completed our Qi Gong practice.  I was tempted to go with Listen, but when my wife suggested "Release," I followed.  A real pleasure to trace this word with my hands, and again being aware of 'release' served me well in my day.  A situation arose regarding a project I am leading a team on.  With my feelings looking to stir, I asked myself what could I release.  My need to be right, the internal chatter that was erupting, and taking a defensive attitude were a good beginning.  As I calmed my mind, I realized I could release my entire story around this project.  Ah, momentary freedom; but to maintain any freedom I needed to be mindful of my feeling and thoughts.

Using the AT directions, I was able to stay within my body.  Releasing unneeded tension, as my habit of reacting to a stimulus I perceived as unfavorable was attempting to surface.  Reminding myself of my aim, and also that how I live my life is more important than what others think or feel.  Harmony, while edging towards the dissonant was maintained, and the project pretty much stayed on track.  Pleased with myself, I needed to choose again how to process this new information.  Quietly was my best response.

After a beautiful walk, delightful dinner, and time organizing my writings I was ready to practice.  Knowing that I was tired I choose to do an AT lie down.  As soon as my back hit the floor I knew this was the right choice.  After tuning my guitar, I questioned myself as to how I would spend my time practicing.  A part of me had let go of the idea of blogging tonight and playing longer.  As I directed my thinking to release my body, I saw that I had a choice to practice mindfully or to degrade into habit.  Habit energy is so strong, that it is so easy for me to get lost in the playing, and loose my sense of myself.  When I loose this sense, the habits begin to exert themselves, and poor use slips in.

The first piece I played, Gathered Hearts,  was flowing beautifully.  Pausing to give the AT directions again, I played Kinnara, which also sounded full and rich.  But the internal chatter began, oh what a good student I am, and then the noise began to increase.  Once again I gave myself space and time to direct, and then began Here We Are.  I then choose to get up and release my guitar from my body, while I was still relatively relaxed.  Disrupt my urge to continue, since overall my playing and use were going along relatively well.

After writing, I decided it was time to hit the floor again for a few.  This second lie down was a bit of a struggle.  "Come on the hour's getting late," I heard myself thinking.  I could really feel my tiredness and a strong urge to get up and play.  But I stayed with the lie down, until the struggle eased.

I began with an improvisation which was fun. Where's the engineer when I need him?  Suddenly I found myself singing intervals and enjoying the resonance. Whenever I do this, I find I easily arrive in the present moment.  Besides being good for my ear, singing intervals may very well be good for my being.  Playing through a few more pieces that needed dusting off, I was still enjoying myself.  Letting go to my tiredness I completed my practice.

To glimpse another important part of my day go here Full Moon Awareness.

The Power of 20 Minutes

Long exhausting days at work this week as we undergo our annual surprise licensure inspection.  Three days of constant scrutiny and we are not done.  The past two nights I have been physically exhausted and my emotions are touchy.  Most of this is due to the interpenetrating affects of an already stressful workplace being driven to explain, defend, and sometimes regret actions made during the day to day care we provide.  But this is not a blog about working with those ill and dying, rather it is about my life as a musician.

Being a musician is a major part of how I deal with the stress of my days.  I love playing guitar, but my attention and energy are not always at the place to play as I wish.  What to do?  I pick up the guitar anyhow, even of for only 20 minutes.  This is the case for the past two evenings, only 20 minutes.  Yet during those minutes, the surge of music touched my heart, gave meaning to my feelings, and have made me smile.  And I want to continue, but I also need to rest.  Assured that music has not abandoned me, I can rest well.  Soon the inspection shall end, but my life as a musician will go on.  For this I am extremely grateful.

I'll connect for a longer time soon, but being certain to maintain the quality of the connection is more important than how long.  Twenty minutes is powerful when approached mindfully.  Twenty minutes can change your life.  What are you waiting for?