New Beginning

During my work day on Thursday I was thinking about the history of one of our clients.  Both of his parents are Holocaust survivors.  I wonder at the stories they possess and the horrors they have lived through.  Was there a piece of music whispering to me?  How would I become available to receive this piece?

There I sat eating my lunch with a sense or sentiment of what to express.  For me at this point the work will be for solo guitar, so one limit is already established.  Where & how to begin?  A cliched thought of boot steps echoing down a hallway arises, but a bit more ambiquity seems apropos.  Do I have the musical language to express this?  Ah, there it is - that subtle thought of doubt, masking the face of fear.  Welcome home old friend.  Breathing in I smile to this doubt and know that I will wrestle with this during my evening practice.

How else to develop the language then to speak?  To probe and prod, experiment and fail; dwelling not on the moments of struggle but taking energy from the search and slowly moving forward. Deciding I needed a scale to begin from, I arrived at C Phrygian Dominant.  Now the stage was set for the evening's work.

As I sat down with my guitar, that moment arose of recognizing the unknown and wading in.  I'm generally comfortable within the confines of my practice space with being lost & clueless; hopefully with enough openness and attention to hear when music has whispered.  Embracing the uncertainty of my knowledge and the mild stress of my challenge; I trust that time with the process will bring order from the chaos of choices. At the very least I will learn & possibly produce a something of merit.  Exploring the relationships within the scale, allowing triads to form & dissolve, I listen as melodies arise & slip away.

One melody stands out and I have found my base to explore from.  Where does this melody wish to go next?  Gentle efforts find the next phrase, yet I feel this piece needs energy and darkness.  Still gentleness governs the evening's efforts.  So be it.  In a world full of suffering, and while contemplating this suffering a gentle practice is at the very least useful.

                                                             Photo by Barry Stock

Simplicity

Picked up The Art of Practicing by Madeline Bruser and opened to a chapter by this name. I knew I needed help this evening, so far the day had been tough & discouraging. As I approached my practice time I sat for a few minutes, connected with my body, watched my mind, & breathed softly. Happy to know that I had music to turn to.

I went through my ritual of opening my case. By the time I was embracing my guitar I was smiling, yet I knew that tonight needed to be simple. No great demands, perhaps play through some pieces and allow these melodies to sooth me, open me, even inspire me. After a few minutes of warm up improvisation, I began with Gathered Hearts, my focus less than I desired it to be. I began again, abadoning the tempo, listening to the notes, feeling them vibrate against my chest. I moved onto Livin' the Dream, addressed an issue in one section and realized I needed to file my left hand nails - again. Having strong nails that grow fast is a blessing,  but as with all of life maintenance  is required.

Back to Livin' the Dream, playing it gently. Acknowledging my departed friend Mark who it was written for, allowing the notes to wash over me. I then played the first piece that ever came through me, the title of which is the name of this blog. But that is a story for another time. While I was not prepared to move onto something new, I found myself playing some arpeggios I have recently found. One chord in a pattern of 5 + 6, then another chord played in two different patterns of 7. This rhythmic structure is different than my original conception, but I am exploring the possible. Tonight this felt right, maybe even more musical. Learning more and more to let go of the initial idea that has led me to an interesting place and to just dwell & develop the new space.

I worked with this for 15 minutes and wondered 'is this musical or am I just enjoying the challenge of playing this.' I noticed this years ago and this still surfaces. Nothing wrong whith extending my ability if that is all that comes from the pursuit. I added the next set of chords, played with these transitions for another 15 minutes. Then time for a break which I have spent typing.