Yet I do what I can. Noticing that my thinking was moving in a negative direction, I knew I needed to take positive action. I sensed the right action had nothing to do with the tasks and projects but to play some notes and allow the vibrations to harmonize my thinking and emotions. I began an improvisation but quickly abandoned it. Then another one, when I noticed I was being too judgmental of myself and I let go of this effort. Switching to playing Gathered Hearts, I then stopped this as my thinking was too active and not on making music. I paused for a moment to breathe and settle, but again the thinking was active and damning.
I began another improvisation and immediately noticed the magic of the two opening arpeggios. My thinking quieted as I entered the moment of this unfolding improvisation. The magic had switched on and music was whispering. I followed as I could awash in the waves of sound, engaged in the act of music. Returning to the opening arpeggios, I choose a different direction and was pleasantly surprised with the outcome. Exploring this path for a bit, I paused to rest my body and notated the opening phrase. Upon returning to the guitar, I still was intrigued with this beginning and explored this further. When I found the improvisation was stalled, I began to play Gathered Hearts, this time from a unified space of body, mind, and spirit. Ever so grateful for music, the guitar, and life itself. Never sure why I can notice when the switch flips on and the creative juice trickles or flows. So much more than I deserve, what more can I desire?
Patrick,
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful journey you had yesterday and one that stems from the all-to-familiar state of overwhelm. Thank you for sharing how you managed to work your way out into a healthier, musical place.
All the best to you,
Erica
Though I'm not sure how the sound, feel, and/or listening to vibrating stings changes my state. I do know that with at time gentle persistence, my emotions can be transformed or at least lessened in their current impact on me, but playing the guitar.
ReplyDeleteHowever the emotions and the mind when riled simultaneously can be daunting to work with. Perhaps it is by distracting the mind and giving the body a task to work with, that the change begins. Then somehow the magic of vibrating waves of sound can enter our being.