Releasing

 

What do I need to let go of to get to the next level?

What do you need to let go of?

How might we assist one another?

Photo by Dheepek Ra

Be Alive in a Sea of Change

Practicing a set for performance is different from fantasizing about playing the set for imaginary people.  The first is working on the stamina of playing the various pieces each with it's own technical challenges and emotional arisings. This also allows me to determine how the flow of moods and tempi interact with one another.  Pretending in the mind about any aspect of a performance or its' impact merely detracts from the music.

Yet the mind will wander by forecasting into the future or holding onto the past.  This happens within any given piece with anticipating difficult sections or whether I can build up the emotional content of the work and by hanging onto a mistake.  To just remain with the notes being played sets the stage for what is to come and for what has come.  Remaining present with the process in rehearsal or performance ensures music has a chance to arrive.

If I can be aware & alive in rehearsal, I have a much better chance chance of being alive within the sea of change of performance.

I will be performing two sets at Takoma Porch on Saturday May 16, 2015 at 4pm.  Over 40 diverse musical acts will be performing on porches around the City of Takoma Park.  I hope to see you there.

Photo by jeronimo sanz

Learning, Still Learning

Asking myself what assumptions and constraints are inherent in the way I do things yielded some obvious answers as I journaled this morning.  A bit later I was watching a Qi Gong video of Master Li in preparation for class today.  My wife was helping me by writing down some comments of his as I was working with the movements.  Frustration mounted as I worked with the movements.  Then I saw something inherent that I first noticed as a teenager.  Anxiety arising when learning on front of others and I'm struggling.  As this arises it gives way to some aspect of fear.  Left unchecked this will turn to anger, generally directed at another. 

After my practice I added this to my journal and it was a good thing I did.  Early in our practice with Master Li, he began correcting me on a part of the form I thought I knew.  As I watched him I could see what he was doing, but was locking into how I do things.  I paused, and took a few quiet breaths, quieting my mind and seeing the emotion looking to sprout.  Staying with awareness of my emotions I was able to keep following his direction and gradually let go of what I was doing. My mind offered up some excuses, reasons even during this learning process, but by continuing to cultivate my awareness I was able to let these thoughts go as easily as they had arrived. 

Progress, not perfection.

photo by Rosa Menkman

Question

:

                                                                           

                           ; where were you when it happened?





Photo by Barry Stock.

Walking With Alexander

This morning I practiced meditation with the Still water Mindfulness Practice Center.  A wonderful way to begin my day, especially on a gig day.  The extra added support and energy provided by a group of practicioners is nourishing.  When the period of sitting meditation ends there is always a brief period for people to unfold their legs and stretch before we stand and begin walking meditation.  I sit in a chair due to vein issues I developed years back.  As I saw the bell inviter reach for the walking bell, I thought how am I going to get out of this chair?  An opportunity to practice the Alexander Technique from a calm and clear state of mind and body.


I directed my head forward and up and continued to practice this simple act along the directions we have worked with in class and lessons over the years.  Smiling as I faced the community, the thought arrived that I could incorporate AT into my walking meditation this morning.  The practice of walking meditation is a practice where each step is taken mindfully.  One step on the in breath and one on the out breath.  During each breath one is invited be aware of the breath, the step and a thought such as peace, love, or joy.  I usually use this practice to manifest positive attributes in myself.  Today I worked with walking meditation and AT in this manner.

Breathing in - I know I am breathing in ( or simply "in)
Breathing out - I know I am breathing out ( or simply "out")

Breathing in - Forward
Breathing out - Up

Breathing in - Long
Breathing out - wide.

I walked for about 5 minutes in this manner, repeating the triplet of directions while maintaining awareness of my steps.  Thinking-in-activity would be the Alexandrian concept behind this.  For me this was easy as the practice of walking meditation is deeply rooted in me.  Due to the slowness of the steps, this is possible for anyone wishing to experiment with AT directing while walking.  I kept this somewhat alive as we sat again and had a reading and brief discussion.  As I left the building and saw the beautiful day unfolding, while my steps were now 3-4 to each breath, I again kept the directions alive.  This is a way to practice walking meditation outside in public view.  Still slower than many pedestrians hustling to school and work, but not drawing attention to oneself.

Now if only I could keep the AT directions alive while typing.  Progress not perfection I suppose.

Photo By Paul Davis.

New Variations in Alexander Technique Negative Directions

          While practicing this evening, I paused to direct my thinking with the basic Alexander Technique directions.  Directing forward & up, long & wide.  I noticed that I was "shortening" my right arm and that the right shoulder was in some type of funny position.  How do I get this way?  Wondering if this goes back to that young boy trying to write cursive that I recalled a couple posts ago while working with AT.

Then the negative direction - I am not concerned with my playing when I play arrived.  Perfect.  Just play, work on the rough sections of the new piece.  Release into the unconcerned. Abandon any concerns with my playing or my process.

After a short break, I moved onto the second piece I'll be recording on Sunday that still is not complete.  Suddenly this arrived - I am not concerned with completing this piece.  Amen.  Freedom to continue to explore what is available.  Nothing to be concerned with.  Just play, play without concern.  And dare I say - don't fret?

Glimpses of Awareness

  Tonight this photo by my friend Barry Stock spoke to me of awareness.  How often am I aware of the beauty that is  around me?  How often am I aware of where I am in space, let alone what I am doing, thinking, feeling?  Glimpses of awareness show me where I am or where I am not.

I may have great aspirations, but what of my actions?  My thoughts?  My words?
As the Guitar Craft aphorism so aptly states - we begin again constantly.  Grateful for the reminders to stop & notice; for the practices that guide this; and for the practitioners that strengthen & support all of us.

Little Habits

How quickly habits set in.

I've been learning Jesu' Joy of Man's Desiring for an upcoming family wedding. The score I have been working with has both standard notation and guitar tablature which pushes the pages to five.  This is more pages than I need to be dealing with. For some reason the tablature is working fine for this piece so I decided to drop the notation and compress the score to two pages.

Tonight was the first time I was working with this and began with bar 39 which leads into an area with kinks to resolve.  I kept getting lost.  Deciding to begin with the first bar and establish the flow of Bach's majesty, I was again getting lost very easily.  Then I saw the problem.  By habit, when my eyes came to the end of a bar line, they were jumping over the next line as if the line of notation was still present.   Laughing, I  began again and lo and behold my eyes jumped again; a bit later once again

Habits, habits, habits.  They develop below the level of my awareness, but then require dedicated awareness to release them.  What's next?

The Secret Punctuation of a Habit

Photo by Barry Stock

;where were you when it happened

;where will you be you when it happens again

;when it happens again a habit may be born

;when it happens enough enough a way of life arises ...

What results then?

Stop

please

be where

you are Now.!.

;habits will arise, better to be with their birth,

perhaps guiding them as you need,

as you wish...

Easy - no

Possible - maybe

Probable

;where were you just now!