Wrong Beginnings

Is the wrong beginning a tragedy?  At least a process has begun.  One can erase words, lines or drop melodies; but to begin a new process one risks failure.  Bravo!  From failure comings learning, at least most of the time.  Sometimes all of the available options, strategies, concepts are too daunting. For me a wrong beginning is better than no beginning.  Mind you this is not to dismiss qualitative endeavors nor intentional actions.  I'm talking about that leap into the unknown.  How to get there?  

Physics tells us that an object at rest tends to remain at rest.  Overcoming inertia requires force.  The good news is that physics also tells us that an object in motion tends to remain in motion.  This is the good news about making a wrong beginning.  At least I am in motion, and once in motion progress happens. 

In my morning practice I had an idea of what I wanted to accomplish, but first how to warm up?  I returned to the first note of the year, a Bb.  Beginning with long notes, I attacked this Bb in various ways.  Then I added a Db, and a melody began to emerge, one reminiscent of a piece that is unfinished from the past.  I made a note to find that score and work with what's there.  From here I moved onto reviewing five pieces to see where they need work.

When I'm not sure where to begin or how, I find a note, a phrase, or a chord. Pushing off from the shore of uncertainty, I question what I find and play around with the answer. A step, even the wrong step begins to clarify the process.  One choice down, infinity to go. 

Photo by h.koopdelaney.

Strength Through Clarity

Thinking about beginnings in relationship to improvisation. A clear strong musical statement is as vital to moving an improvisation along as the beginning of a composed piece of music. Tonight I focused on generating clarity in my beginnings. The first improv began with staccato notes in A major ending with a staccato fourth chord. Variations on this ensued. After turning off the tape for this first effort, I found a compelling opening in D minorish. Pushing record I was off, having fun, varying the tempo and dynamics and dropping in the occasional surprise. Noticing that I was arriving at en ending, I found a satisfying end around 2 minutes and 20 seconds.

Loud short bass notes alternating with loud staccato high notes found me delighting in the next twist and turn. Before long this felt as if I might be getting too many ideas that was sacrificing a sense of unity. At some point I stopped. Returning to my question from last week - What does mystery sound like? I began exploring dyads, allowing space and tension. I was engaged and following where I was pointed. Again I found myself where perhaps too much was being put out there, but I'm not sure. One day I may listen to all of these efforts, but the important aspect of this evening was to focus on the beginning. With these clear strong beginnings, I found the process of improvisation to be stronger and better focused.

Returning to the guitar for 6 or 7 more improvisations, I realize now that there was very little judgement of my work tonight while in the act of playing.  Accepting what was coming out as the notes played.  This is a definite quality that is vital for me to cultivate.  I recognized the end of one 'piece' because of the sense of silence that was enveloping the music.  One very sweet moment for me.   All in all a good nights work.  

Look Out

                                    Photo by James Landry

Tomorrow, I will be attending the Collaboration Laboratory, which will be a group of poets, dancers, and musicians looking to share their work and explore possible collaborations.  I was invited by the organizer, who finds something of interest in my work.  A good thing all in all.  But tonight my mind is like James photo.  Either chattering away, not there, or fixed but not focused.  Who will be there?  What will I do?  Will they like me?  Ah welcome to my life, my mind.

I've been watching myself long enough to know that this is another of the 1000 faces of fear manifesting subtly.  What to do?  Bring my attention back to my body, then the guitar, breath out, and play.  Listen to what I'm playing and keep returning to this moment, the only moment of my life.  As the Guitar Craft aphorism, that I've quoted a few times in the blog reminds me, we begin again constantly.

I remind myself that entering into unknown situations are good for me.  I'll be stretched, learn, and keep moving.  One thing is certain, if I'm still breathing, I will show up on time and be as open as possible.

Begin With Certainty

The remainder being taped to the music stand this evening - Begin With Certainty.

To know when I bring my hands to the instrument that I am playing my guitar.  To be where I am; aware of the space, breathing, with my mind leading my hands.  To open my heart and allow joy, love, sorrow, and whatever else needs to be expressed to find a voice.  And as so eloquently expressed by Robert Henri to know why.


A common defect of modern art study is that too many students do not know why they draw.  Robert Henri

Lie Down and Find Myself

                                    Photo by James Landry

Tonight was one of those nights I knew I needed an AT lie down before practicing.  My body tired from the long months of work, ready to let go into vacation mode, but I still have one more day to tend to my professional duties.  Wrapping up details, completing reports, leaving instructions, and anticipating the unknown.  But now refreshed from my lie down, my energy is flowing and I'll report to practice.

There is that part of me, present daily to be dealt with - my resistance.  The best way I know to deal with my resistance, is to ask for help and to move onto the task at hand.  How many of thousands of times have I pushed out of bed to go to work.  I treat my practice the same.  In desperate times, invoking my  two times to practice rule - when I want to and when I don't want to.  The respite from demands on myself offered by the lie down is nourishing and energizing, not in any way giving into the resistance.  Rather it is a method of preparing myself for a quality beginning.

When I sat on my stool, my body was ready to receive my guitar and to take as fresh a look as possible at how I play.  Beginning with an exercise dealing with accents and the right hand, I enjoyed the simple act of playing notes.  The sound drawing me into the moment, my listening deepening as I shifted the accent between the thumb and various fingers.  Such joy to be found when I am using myself well, and working in a way to improve overall.  From there I played through Gathered Hearts and then Stepping Stones.  Taking time to stay connected with myself as I played, keeping the AT directions alive with my thinking.  As I worked on the power pull-off section of SS, I wondered why I do not always begin with a lie down?  A very good question indeed.

Pausing and marveling at how this simple action, also known as active rest, can be so restorative and generative.  My muscles lengthened, my Qi flowing, and my mind quieted.  A very simple and powerful practice.  And now back to the guitar.

Begin With A Wish

Within the constraints of a busy three day weekend, I was making progress on my musical "to do" list, when a team of microbes began munching on my lungs.  Their biochemistry interpenetrating mine; eliciting aches, coughs, and general malaise.  Fortunately I had a brief practice session in the early morning yesterday, and another one in the afternoon, before the microbes hit critical mass.

I went to pick up my guitar in the evening, as I had canceled my plans to join the sangha, but when I looked at the case, I knew I was in no condition to connect with my guitar.  I wish it was this easy when I have to connect with certain people, to just let go and tend to my needs.  With developing my awareness through meditation, Qi Gong, and the Alexander Technique, I have better strategies to assess where I am.  Knowing where I am, I may also have a sense of how I am. And then, I may see my choice of action.  This falls into the "music of life," an area like guitar where I continue to practice  Beginning with the wish is sufficient I suppose.  Once I had a wish to play music and now I do.

Begin with a wish - for my neck to be free, to be aware of my thinking, or to bring joy into our world. What are you wishing for?

Studying Beginnings Day 2

In keeping with my stated desire to begin two pieces in the same scale but differently, and then alternate working on them, I have decided to not play through last nights work.  I had a rhythmic and harmonic idea about this as I drove to work this morning so I have a place to begin my investigation.  But first I need connect with myself, and then with my guitar.  Tonight I want to pay more attention to how I use myself in this process than I did last night.

The idea bore fruit, at least enough for a beginning that has attracted my attention.  Time for a little fun with my guitar and then to bed. I did complete the third of four major professional food events today.  My body is tired, but my spirits enlivened by seeing the end in sight. 

Studying Beginnings

BEGIN NOW

This is now.  Now is,

all there is.  Don't wait for Then;

                                        strike the spark, 
                                           light the fire.



I found the above words in a draft from many months ago, which made me think of  Robert Henri and his wonderful book, The Art Spirit.  In a letter to a class he stressed the value of studying beginnings of drawing.  This notion has intrigued me.  Tonight I was unclear how to begin my practice. Thinking of Henri I decided that perhaps I could make my own study of beginning a piece.  Then I thought I could begin three pieces.

I took my copy of Slonimsky's Thesaurus of Scales and Melodic Patterns and began flipping through the pages.  Just as I was prepared to put this down, I saw Scale 21 C D E F F# G# A# B C.  No idea what to do with this.  I ran through the scale a few times in one octave, and then found a chord based on C in fourths and was off and running.  I worked with this for 40 minutes and took a break.  During this time  I decided that this scale could be my "model" for the coming days, and I would create two beginnings. Then as Henri suggested to his students, I will alternate between the two 'pieces' and see how they develop.  Letting go of the idea of three pieces and focusing on working in a different way.

Something about this challenge is thrilling and also frightening.  Let the fun begin.  Now ...