Integration

When I read Joann's comment from yesterday's post of "What a beautiful evening of integrating your practices," I recognized the word or quality that properly described my state - integrated.  My body was relaxed, functioning efficiently and possibly at a higher than normal energy level.  My mind was quiet and my emotions were calm.  As one definition for integrate states: to form, coordinate, or blend into a functioning or unified whole.  There I was united, body, mind, and spirit, all blended and freely playing my guitar. 


When I returned to the guitar after posting last night, there was still this higher functioning in my use.  Marvelous actually, I did not want to stop playing but the hour was getting late.  I slept soundly, a bit late actually, so my usual morning routine had to be abbreviated.  I did practice Qi Gong and still reaped benefits in my use based on our AT work last night.  I wished that I had more time to practice, but I still needed a few minutes to tend to my sitting, so I let go of taking my Qi Gong further.


Throughout the day, I experienced a calmness in my body and found the act of returning and making contact with my body to be easier.  Less noise in the environment of my mind/body connection is one way to put this.  I played with using AT inhibition, as  a way to continue my investigation into how I use myself.  I suspect that if I were to search the Alexander Technique literature that the term integration would be a working part of the vocabulary, but of this I am not sure, nor does my concern lie there.

While this was not my first experience of such a state, I did find last night last to be particularly powerful.  A taste of freedom in my playing that will nourish me and keep me going for days.  And some very good clues as to how to arrive there again. Practice, practice, practice and  ...

now the ears of my ears awake and now the eyes of my eyes are opened - e.e. cummings

Moving the Qi With the Alexander Technique

An interesting and good Alexander Technique class with David Jernigan tonight. We chatted for a bit as I have not seen him in a month. Then David did some hands on work with me.  He really connected my hips with my head and I noticed a movement or space beneath my rib cage that was new to me.  A certain spaciousness in my breathing might be an apt description.  He commented on my seated repose after this work and I also noticed the calmness and relaxation that had arrived.  My back was long and wide, my shoulders and my body were somehow better.

David then suggested that we do some AT work while I did Qi Gong. I began showing him my routine and then as I did certain exercises he worked with inviting freedom into my movement as only an AT instructor can.  At first this felt weird, which for me means different.  As we continued this my energy was moving and I was experiencing where I might be partially blocking the energy.  We continued on this way going through three Qi Gong exercises.  When we were done my energy had shifted,  my awareness deepened, and my sense of myself improved.

Arriving home, I picked up my guitar, and noticed my overall generally relaxation.  When I brought my hands to the guitar, my shoulders seemed a bit wider apart, which impacted positively on my right hand positioning.  My arms felt longer and relaxed, and as David had asked me several times this evening, I then asked myself what was my intention for my hands before I moved them to the guitar.  I played trough Livin' the Dream, and then worked on a difficult section of Broken Wing.  My hands relaxed yet assured, my attention with the guitar and the space around me.  My tone was sweet. After 20 minutes of good work I took a break to write this.  Even now sitting here typing there is a ease and length to my use that is different. Now back to the guitar.

Photo by James Landry.

This Too Shall Pass

I had a friend, Willie C., who had a humorous way of bringing home this truth to me. Willie would say " Now I'm no Bible thumper, but every now and then I read the good book.  I've never seen it say 'that it came to stay,' it always says that 'It came to pass.'" As I type this I can still hear him stretching the "Iiii'vvvvvve" with his particular twang.  Smiling now, as I did then when he would intone his wisdom for me.

I'm still tired from the intensity of my professional life, the major food holidays behind me fortunately. Now for some end of year paperwork, and an annual inspection that we all dread.  After spending a couple hours bringing order to our home today I took a nap.  I woke but did not want to get out of bed.  Generally this is not good for me as my thinking tends to drift to the negative when I do this.  Today was no exception, and even with working with following my breath, I moved into a funk.  I knew I needed sometime with my guitar, and at the same time had no energy for this.

I took a hot shower and then invoked  my two times to practice rule - when I want to and when I don't want to.  Into the basement, smiling as I opened the case revealing my six string friend.  Within ten minutes my mood was shifting, after 15 minutes I wondered why I would ever not want to play.  Just simple the act of picking up my guitar is  so healing.  Yet when my resistance flowers, only my commitment can pull me through.

What is it about notes, melodies, harmonies, sound that can change our mood?  How does music lift our spirits to the greater aspects of life?  What neuronal pathways are charged when I play fast?  What emotions calmed when I play slow?  There are scientific studies out there that may answer these questions. My own experiences have shown me that I need music in my life, and so I practice once again.

When Will "It" Get Done?

What are the areas where I need to grow musically?  Ear training, improvisation, right hand fingerpicking technique, composition, rhythm and the list can grow into ever greater specifics.  Good to know where I am and where I want to go.  But when am I going to do these things?  So easy to make lists, but they do not get much done.  Unless I am  committed to them and work out the method and time to address what needs doing.

Then as the fruits of practicing come forth, I have this energy available to feed my commitment.  Slow steady progress unfolds once I am in motion.  Overcoming my inertia is the initial obstacle and then staying true to the path.

Now is the time, the only time I have to practice.  Coming into my relationship with the present moment remains the struggle.  Enough lists, books, ideas, and clever insights. Do it now!

Why I Play Music

I was finally able to sleep in a couple of extra hours today.  The Holiday demands of both my professional and personal life now being met.  Yesterday I woke with an invading microbe looking to live within my body.  So I did slip in some rest yesterday, while still tending to our Christmas celebration.

Today I needed to rest, and I have.  A gentle morning followed by an afternoon nap.  A cold, windy, and snowy Sunday keeping me inside to rest and stay warm.  Earlier, while resting, I was reflecting on why I play music?  On some level I know the answer, yet today I found it a good time to reflect on how I live my life.

So in my journal I asked the question - "What are my motivations for making music?"

          - The healing that my practice of music has given me.
          - The healing that my practice of music has given others.
          - My love of learning and the different opportunities my study
            of music has exposed to me.
          - The joy, peace, and sense of well being my practice brings to
             me.
          - The wonderful and amazing people, to whom this pursuit has
            introduced me.

After writing this I picked up my guitar for the first time since early Friday morning.  Gently allowing the opening notes of Gathered Hearts to resonate as I sang along.  Making no great demands on myself, I was just playing and listening.  As I allowed my body to release with the Alexander Technique directions, the tone of my guitar sweetened.  Moving onto Dancin' Free I watched the swirling snow through my window.  Pausing at times to hear certain intervals of this piece, I sang them, and then resumed my playing.  Forgetting my tiredness as I connected with Music; my body, heart, & mind united in the moment. Yes this is why I play.

What's a Model?

Well I was playing with Robert Henri's ideas about studying my beginnings, I chose the scale mentioned two days ago to serve as my "model."  Last night I composed another beginning with this scale.  While driving to work today I was visualizing part of what I wrote last night on the fretboard, as I could not hear this yet. Then I noticed that a couple of C#'s had slipped in though they are outside of the scale.  Not a problem really, just may need to create another beginning within the scale.

When I went to review the beginning from the first night I also found a couple of C#'s.  Laughing I thought well this is what happens when you practice and you're so tired.  Of course I am almost always tired when I practice so what to do?  I decided that I may look at this scale again or I may not.  Perhaps this is another manifestation of Eno's "mistake as a hidden intention."  The important point is that I chose a "model" and used this as a springboard for musical ideas.  Where this "model" takes me in either a learning or a musical context is what is important, not how strictly I adhere to my own initiating ideas.  I'll see how this develops over time, but for now I'm off to curl up with Begin Again: A Biography of John Cage by Kenneth Silverman.  A truly great read about a very influential man.

Studying Beginnings Day 2

In keeping with my stated desire to begin two pieces in the same scale but differently, and then alternate working on them, I have decided to not play through last nights work.  I had a rhythmic and harmonic idea about this as I drove to work this morning so I have a place to begin my investigation.  But first I need connect with myself, and then with my guitar.  Tonight I want to pay more attention to how I use myself in this process than I did last night.

The idea bore fruit, at least enough for a beginning that has attracted my attention.  Time for a little fun with my guitar and then to bed. I did complete the third of four major professional food events today.  My body is tired, but my spirits enlivened by seeing the end in sight. 

The Glimpse

Art intrigues me.  So much possibility in this frozen rock garden. Life abounds here, even in this moment of restricted repose.  Is the archway leading to a quiet inner space or opening to a huge vista of insight?  The trees dusted with life, silently watching us watch this scene.  Can I draw out the trace* within this piece of art?  Or just allow this photo to inspire me to continue seeking my own muse? Both are possible, both are honorable.  Grateful to this artist who opened this particular path of inquiry in my mind.

I am reminded that the mind is a tool; yet how often does the free flowing thoughts of my mind appear to me more as a hindrance?  But yes it is a tool, and like any tool I must undertake to study the craft of how the mind works.  The guitar, mindfulness meditation, Qi Gong, and the Alexander Technique are different ways for me to study and to hone my skills with the mind.  Art, be it in the form of painting, sculpture, literature, photography, dance, or music allows me to glimpse this trace that others have experienced.  And in this glimpse, I draw closer to this precious moment they have awakened me to.  What I do with this moment remains key.

And then, in mere moments I am the frozen rock garden.  My emotions steeled at a perceived slight.  Stuck in the archway that leads to habitual responses, while simultaneously desiring a better way.  Slowly my breath cracks the ice that has stifled my energy.  I stand and allow the graceful movements of Qi Gong to unfreeze the rocks that my limbs have become.  Allowing my body to lengthen rather than collapse around  my heart I begin again.  The mind, the body, and the heart all must be tended to with care.  When the body is tired, the heart is vulnerable, the mind fickle.  Choosing to apply the practices balance is restored, at least for now.


Note: * "Art is, after all, only a trace – like a footprint which shows that one has walked bravely and in great happiness."
— Robert Henri

Why Study Music?

   
  The practice of music allows me to better
          listen to the cries of another's soul.

I is for ?

Intelligence, Intermission, or Injury.

I woke this morning with stiffness in my left shoulder, just about where the weight of the guitar rests. This happens at times. Years ago I learned to relax this area as I was "lifting' this shoulder to meet the weight of the guitar. Of course I did not know I was doing this until a friend of mine from the world of dance, Bob Dunn, watched me play. I have also had irritation in the area if I turn my neck to watch my hands while I play. And perhaps I just plain old slept funny last night.

While at work I did a bit of stretching and noticed that the tendon that leads to the outside of my left wrist was also sore. I had tendinitis in this area a couple years ago so I am very aware of being gentle when noticing any pain or discomfort here. Ignoring anything out of the ordinary in this area of my body is no longer an option. My adventure with tendinitis had me seeing an orthopedist, an acupuncturist, and a practitioner of the Muscle Release Technique. MRT was great as I was taught a series of stretches to do to alleviate the situation and to keep me healthy. MRT was developed in response to the growing Repetitive Use Injuries common to people who use their hands intensively. If you live in the Washington DC area, Robert True, a certified practitioner is located in Ashton, MD and did amazing work with me.

So for tonight I will apply my intelligence and take the night off from playing. I normally do this one night a week and Monday seems to work best. As I age I had to accept that I need an intermittent break from the demands the guitar places on my body. I had my wife massage the area and apply a liniment, Zheng Gu Shui, originally recommended by my acupuncturist.

If not and I choose to "play through the pain" then I is for Idiocy and eventually for INJURY. In fact maybe while I am listening to my body, I'll get out my mp3 recorder and listen to the solo works in progress that I am currently writing and/or learning. Seems like an intelligent response to my situation, musical progress without muscle injury.

Check out my solo guitar work on Scattered Hearts.  For only $4.99 you can receive a download that will support this blog, support my musical pursuits, and warm your soul to boot. Be kind to musicians, be kind to yourself.

Addendum to this post.

If you search this blog for Alexander Technique you will find quite a few postings on this topic. I was first exposed to the Alexander Technique 21 years ago on a Guitar Craft Course. Over the years whenever I had AT done to me I always benefited, but my individual application was sporadic and consisted mainly of doing a "lie down." While doing the "lie downs" is valuable to allowing your back to lengthen & widen and your entire body to rest, AT offers so much more.

In February of 2010 I began to study AT outside of participation in courses. I describe the change as that previously I had AT done to me, now I am embracing the work for myself. Issues in my left arm and shoulder are gone. Overall my use of myself is more efficient and relaxed, my awareness deepening. Individual instruction is vital in this work but a great guide to musicians is Indirect Procedures: A Musician's Guide to the Alexander Technique (Clarendon Paperbacks)  by Pedro de Alcantara. I can not recommend this book enough for insight into your musical process.

Close to Perfect Sunday

Noon

Began warming up improvising with the scale that whispered to me yesterday. At one point I noticed how slumped over the guitar I was. Just a slight release and improvement of my posture and when I began to play again I could hear the improved quality of my tone. How many times do I need to learn this same lesson? I have been exposed to the Alexander Technique for 20 years. Application is another story.

All comes back to the same basic principles which when applied reinforce one another. Improved posture led to better tone and the combination of the two improved my listening which led to ...

12:30 pm EDT

Spent 15 minutes working on notation for August Born when a new chord caught my ear. Played with this briefly and recorded the 5 chords. Time for lunch.

9:40 pm EDT
Enjoyed a perfect summer day with a picnic and walking around Great Falls with the four people I love the most. Totally relished a succulent peach when I returned home. Spoke with Tony Geballe about recording and producing the next release. What an amazing person he is, I am so privledged to work with a man of his qualities.

A brief look at the new chords that showed up today and soon to rest.

Play the Same Note 11 Different Ways

Years back I read an interview with Luciano Berio and he said that he instructs his students to play the same note eleven different ways. I was intrigued when I read this and immediately took up my guitar. This exercise came back to me recently and I used duration, vibrato, timbre, and various means of attack and saw how richer my options were then we I first played with this.

Reflecting on this on my way to work this morning I decided to add a variation on this exercise. First I played the same note, a D for tonights efforts, 11 different ways. Then I played the D using different variations but played the same note variation 11 times. This quickly focused my listening and was a rich experience.

I then worked on a passage in Dandelion Wish which always gives me difficulties. I slowed this way down and the quality of listening persisted. A short break to allow the 'muscle memory' to set and then on to relearning Prayer From a Small Room, a delicate piece. This piece began while warming up in the dining room at Raft Island last fall. The following morning it flowed out of me in my cabin while practicing.

I revisited Crack in the Door, a piece that is over a year old and has not been played for some time. Glanced at Blossoming from the same period. I need to make decisions as what to prepare to record for my next solo guitar release, The Seven Sorrows. Completed the evenings work with a run through of Matka Boska.

The Ultimate Question

To play or to blog?

Play.

Struggle Continues

Currently it is 9:10 EDT. Began practicing 30 minutes ago. Really want to blow off the notation part tonight. Really feeling the need to just play the guitar, work on the pieces I have. Intellectually I can justify this, yet I know I need to honor the commitment that I made. After all I made it for a reason and in a short period of time it has served me well. To let go tonight, no matter how tired I am from a wonderful family day is a mistake. So back to practice. Soon to notate.

9:44 EDT

I listened to the rough recording of what I recaptured of "Beneath Dark Images" from friday night and still can not hear all of the piece in my mind. I decided to notate the other part that I have recalled and then take it from there. This difficulty shows me why I must record these ideas, especially as they develop further and notate at least chord structures as I go along. Now I can return to playing a bit.

10:00 EDT
Played "Livin' the Dream" so effortlessly that I called it a night. good to end on a high point. Just typed EBT instead of mistake. Yes it is Eastern Bed Time for me.

Stay Tuned!