Question

 Question I am currently holding.

How could I make the recording of Fences, Frames and Alleys easy?

Outputs Versus Outcome

 

In a meeting with a group of alumni from a workshop I took, a statement was made concerning “output vs outcomes.” This phrase instantly encapsulated what I’ve been struggling with this week. I want to release Fences, Frames and Alleys. That is an output. But what is the outcome I want?

Music that touches peoples hearts. I can not rush this process. And this is not an act of hiding. I just have not yet mastered the material to the point where I am free while playing which allows something else to enter the music. I need to play with an audience for this music to truly come alive.

Photo by F

Can I? Will I?

 

I’ve been holding off working with Anchor Fence Is Gone. If I could answer why, an old pattern within might unravel. Yesterday I listened to a rough recording I’d made when the piece was conceived and studied the score that Brad Hogg has transcribed for me a few years ago. In my heart this piece seems vital to Fences, Frames and Alleys yet the resistance has kept me from bringing it alive again. Today I visited again. As I was playing with the opening section I wondered - Can I make this easier? Laughing out loud I said of course I can. The real question is will I make this easier? So it goes.

Photo by PinkFloydFanSince1986

Begin With the Impossible.

Listening to Fantasias for Theremin and String Quartet by Caroline Eyck and American Contemporary Music Ensemble. I’ve loved string quartets for a long time, particularly the 5th and 6th of Bela Bartok. Tonight I needed something fresh to open my ears and I’m happy to have found this. The addition of the theremin is adding that other-worldly sensibility that is where I seem to be. Two long days with practice, doing work for the recording workshop I’m taking, walks and life. Wondering at times if I’ve taken on the impossible with this wish to release Fences Frames and Alleys in July. Smiling as I remember my friend Tom’s new aphorism - Begin with the Impossible. So there I am.

Fences Frames and Alleys

Must doubt creep into the alley attempting to reframe a dream?

 My life?

How many times have I, will I need to jump over this fence? 

Doubt is not an anchor. More a current.

Perhaps a signal I’m on to something.

Who do I need to walk the dark alleys with me? 

Which alley shall I avoid? 

Every fence has a gate.

Don’t shoot out the last street light.

Brake the old frames.

Choose.

Begin again.

Release.

Unending work, uncertain work

Necessary work.

On myself and for others.

                                                                                                   Excelsior 

                                                                Photo by NatureLifePhoto

Release

Gather Study Do

Practice with rigor then sum

Release into Now.

While journaling this morning I knew what my word for today was - Release. Usually my wife and I choose one as we complete our Qi Gong practice. Today I introduced the word at the beginning of our practice together. Why release? 

I’ve been working on a plan to release Fences, Frames and Alleys in July. Actually quite a leap for me, perhaps even impossible. I have enough good material. I have the time. Can I master the material for the recording process? Well with a plan, passion and discipline this release becomes possible

What else need to be released? Unnecessary tension in my body is always a given.  The stories I have been told that negate my passion. Beating up on myself when progress is not proceeding at the pace I determined should be reasonable. Expectations period.  Any sense that I can do this alone. Much support is needed.

As I opened my case this morning I paused to release my  current expectations and ask for help. I burst out laughing when I opened my case to see I had already moved my guitar into the practice space. So much for paying attention. So it goes.

Photo by Jeff Nissen on Unsplash

Am I Willing to Listen?

 How do I listen to others? As is everyone were my Master speaking to me his cherished last words. - Hafiz

How do I listen to myself? 

Often I need help hearing myself. Right now I really need to listen to myself. How will I create time and energy to get the work done I need to do in releasing Fences, Frames and Alleys? 

Do I want to listen? What if these were my cherished last notes? 

Photo by Andy McQuire

Rusty Frames

Needing a topic for this blog tonight, I thought about an exercise on Lateral Thinking developed by Edward de Bono.  Using a list of random words to stimulate thoughts and associations I arrived at "rust" and "frames."  Smiling as I've just returned from teaching a Qi Gong class where the work we do is to stimulate our energy systems.  Prior to the class and afterwards I demonstrated the Alexander Technique Lie Down to two different students with little aches and stiffness in their necks.

All of us put much stress on our physical and mental frames and after decades of less than optimal care we begin to harvest the consequences.  But fortunately with disciplines like AT and Qi Gong  we can unlock the causes and conditions that have led us to where we are in how we use our selves.  Neither of these disciplines are quick fixes but they are effective.  And as Neil Young astutely pointed out years ago Rust Never Sleeps.

Frames reminded me of some improvisations I did years ago that generated a couple scores I recently came across and want to look at again. Now I have an area to begin my next practice session. 

 Photo by Horia Varlane

Widening My Practice

I begin my practice in an empty room within an old wood home.  As I noticed yesterday the window frames are so wide, a beautifully carved brown frame opening out into our world.  My case lies on the floor next to a chair.  I pause and inhibit my urge to open the case.  Where am I, I ask myself?  How wide are my feet on the floor?  Smiling as I think of Missy Vineyard, I use her take on the Alexander Technique with the negative direction - I am not holding onto my width.  Never good to get fixated on a notion of how to use myself nor how to direct my thinking.

As I bend to my case I direct my spine to be long as David Jernigan has urged me so many times in lessons.  My next thought - I am not holding onto my neck ... then I am not holding onto my desires.  Finally I open my case.  The good news is that I am much more present and aware of myself; the space I am in; and the intent of my practice than if I had not inhibited my act of opening the case.

As I begin to improvise I surprise myself with the direction the improv takes.  The thought how wide can I flow in my improvisation arises?  As I continue the improv, the habitual asserts itself, but now I see an opportunity to explore.  How wide can I stretch my knowledge of music theory?  How might I incrementally work on this?   I pause to jot down these questions.

As the day moves on and interactions with people accumulate I find myself asking - How wide is my acceptance of others?  Which led to how wide is my acceptance of myself?  Is there a difference?  Smiling as I notice that this path through "wide" is also deep.

Photo by Xubayr Mayo

Release II

Release continued to be a theme for today. I was in a colleagues office and saw a book titled The Release of Information ... and I smiled. Took me back to my practice of last night with just those few words of a text related to the legal aspects of our profession. I put in a long day at work today. This was needed, productive, and also very tiring. More and more I feel the toll my professional work takes on me.

After a short nap and dinner I was talking with my wife. She asked me if I felt like practicing. Of course not was my reply, but I will. Tonight there was no resistance to doing an Alexander Technique lie down to begin. Allowing the muscles to slowly unwind and let go of the week was nourishing. I thought of a line from Kenny Werner's book Effortless Mastery: Liberating the Master Musician Within that we release our concern for sounding good. I thought yes this is some old information I can release for tonight. Just have a little fun with my guitar.

I  moved to the guitar and played through a few pieces. I was enjoying my playing, allowing myself to be gentle and let the music take me. I then decided to play through Beneath Dark Images, a piece which began over a year ago that I found an ending for last weekend. Again just a gentle play through, reminding my body and mind of the piece. From here I moved to a piece form the Frames period that also needs an ending. At one point I found myself grabbing  a couple chords reminiscent of Jimi's Castle's Made of Sand opening, sans the effects. This appeared to fit so I played around with the chords for a while. Then the next discovery which led me to a potential ending for this piece.

I taped this three times to capture the ideas that surfaced tonight. I'll listen back another to hear the results. Smiling I completed my session. I told myself I was too tired to write this, but here I am.

I find myself wondering what more is there to release?


Photo by Mikael Hivdtfeldt Christensen

Allowing the Creative

                                        Photo by M-J-H
Yesterday I dug out the scores for two pieces that were generated this past fall during a period where I was beginning my practice by writing a short piece - what I was calling Frames. There was no structure to these investigations,  just an approach of openness to the guitar and what I might discover and learn. This period was very fruitful yielding 10 Frames, several of which I enjoy on listening back to them. Hence the decision now to learn two of these for possible recording in September.

On my way home from work today I was thinking about exploring the notion of Frames again, Summertime Frames perhaps. Would these investigations have a different musical quality about them? Perhaps. Not only have the seasons changed but so have I. So I decided to begin another period of beginning my practice session with improvising and notating the results. I recalled a suggestion on limits from Stephen Nachmanovitch's excellent book Free Play: Improvisation in Life and Art that I have used many times. He recommends applying two limits to foster the creative process.

I came up with the limits of using only the notes on the guitar between the fifth and the tenth positions using a rhythm in five to begin with. I would investigate this for 20 minutes and then move on to my practice. I actually did this for 25 minutes but nothing musical was materializing. I let go and just began to play. There was music. I played with this idea a bit and then took a short break. When I came back to the guitar I still liked the idea and played with it some more. I then took a much needed walk along Sligo Creek.

The idea continued to play in my mind as I walked. Still not sure what to do to develop the idea I just let myself listen and play with the options in my head. Occasionally the singing of the creek and the insects would filter their way in, but this idea continued to dominate. Continuing to walk quickly and listen to these melodies was joyful. When I returned home I again played with the idea.

There are possibilities I played and I am sure more is available, just not tonight. But I trust the process; I trust the creative spirit. The outcome is not as important as allowing myself the opportunity and the freedom to explore.

Finding Clarity

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27478532@N04/ / CC BY 2.0

Finally feeling better today. Still weak, but the body ache is gone. I was reading The Inner Game of Music this morning and Barry Green suggested giving yourself permission to fail. That trying to play a part is the issue and when you try to play the part incorrectly your body plays it properly. I had experimented with this in the past but not recently. I picked up my guitar and went to play the troublesome part in Dandelion Wish wrong and lo and behold I did. This may have been the best laugh I had all week.

Another suggestion he had is to make a similar motion away from the instrument. I played with this a bit and then went to work. The playing improved. I devised another exercise to isolate the issue and noticed that I was not completing the motion for the  double artificial harmonic before returning to my regular playing position. I isolated this further and played using the metronome and then began to put the part back together. By end of my session I was reliably playing this part at 60 bpm.

Looked through various pieces that are works in progress to decide what to add next. Picked one of the Frames and revisited Stepping Stones. Enjoyed working with Stepping Stones, much of it still in my hand. Time to get to know this piece.

I wonder ...

I find myself saying " I wonder if ..." frequently of late. Perhaps this is what has lead to the Frames series to which was added Frame #7 on Friday and Frame #8 tonight. I heard the formulation of "I wonder" clearly tonight. I had 4 chords that I liked together, then in my mind "I wonder if" and I followed where that query led. At times I am hard on myself for certain areas of musical ignorance that I possess, yet in this ignorance, at times even innocence, I can allow myself to go places musically that a trained musician would not.

So I sit and wonder.

Photo by Pablo Mandel Circular Studio

Frames #4, 5, and 6

                         Trust. What is trust? Is it learned? Earned?

Listening to an excerpt from Stones off of This Fragile Moment as I type. Toyah words juxtaposed on my own are generating interesting & fleeting thoughts. Should I keep this excerpt on repeat as I type? " It's a beautiful question ... but your answer is wrong ..."

Since playing the benefit Saturday night I have not played an established piece. On Sunday a new piece inspired by the notion of Frames that I have been holding came out. I was exhausted in Sunday and in this slowly paced piece just followed where the next note chose to be. Quick notation and a rough recording to mp3 to secure the idea.


Stream Ohrstrom and the Blue Dragon Band was the final act at the benefit on Saturday night. I met Stream in my early days of Guitar Craft when struggling with odd rythms. Tony Geballe suggested I get a set of Bongos to work on  rhythms so as to just focus on getting them down and not concerning myself with the challenges of playing the guitar. I went to HMT and Stream introduced me to the dumbek, a middle eastern goblet shape hand drum that I fell in love with. I played the thing in the car as my now wife drove to Baltimore to visit family. What a woman!

I took lessons with Stream for some time and enjoyed many musical moments with him alone and during the weekly Beat Jam that he still hosts on Friday nights. I recently reconnected with him in October and he recalled how my favorite rhythm then was a pattern of 31, with both of us playing it differently but syncing on the one.

On Monday evening when I sat to practice I again began investigating where the notes might take me. An arpeggio in seven appeared and was followed by one in six. Another one in seven and then I hit on the framework of 31. A structure of 7,6,7,6, 5. I played with this for the next hour and 45 minutes, not even stopping to get a drink of water. Something emerged. I can not play it yet so no rough take with the mp3 recorder. Thought I might work with it tonight but...

Another piece emerged. Quiet & mysterious. Notated and recorded and then played for Joann twice.

Where does music come from? Why does music come into being?  A recent conversation with Robert about performance had him telling me that music is always available. While I have heard this before I heard him differently this time. The challenge is for me to be available to music.  Can I trust music to be there? Yes. Can I be available?

I am not sure why the creative output this week. I suspect it has something to do with the focus of the past weeks preparing for the performance. For now I am just trusting the process. And returning to listen to Stone one more time ...

Photo Credit: Ignacio Gracian, permission pending.

Darhyl Lyons Benefit

A very enjoyable event with much love expressed for Darhyl and by him. I am privledged to have been included.

I opened this diverse evening with a 30 minute solo set. Felt good playing, part of the crowd was listening, part merrymaking. Expected at a gathering such as this. Saw some old friends and met some new ones.

The set:

Dandelion Wish
August Born
Matka Boska
Scattered Hearts
Livin' the Dream
Gathered Hearts
Dancin' Free

Today was a day of spending time with family and a couple short naps. I picked up my guitar this evening with the notion to explore Frame # 4. I altered my tuning using my new spider capo and began playing notes slowly. A slow introspective motion seems to be present in these experiments & examinations I am calling Frames. I taped this one 3 times to listen and then continue the piece a bit further. Currently weighing in at 2 minutes.

Nice to have a refreshing pause such as this. Just play with my guitar, explore what the muse might have me find, let go of polishing pieces. Learn, love, & let go ...

Frames #3

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rob_adams/ / CC BY 2.0

Thanksgiving Day - a day to pause, reflect, and nourish our seeds of gratitude. Certainly I am blessed with abundance. Family, love, music, and good friends provide me with a life that is so worth living. I spent most of the day with family and loved ones. There was much laughter and harmony.

I found 45 minutes in the afternoon in which I was intending to practice the set for Saturday night. However I began warming up with an improvisation and heard what I needed to hear. The time was spent playing with an idea that appears to fit into what I am calling Frames. This is the third one of which generally will be very short solo guitar pieces that provide a Frame, a window looking in or out. A catalyst for introspection perhaps.

After dinner preparation and a short trip to join family I returned home happy and tired. I did not feel like practicing, but I invoked my two times to practice rule and carried on. My work was not the most spirited but I did what was needed to keep the set list alive in my hands, heart, and head. A small effort, one in a long series of efforts, for which I am grateful to have the time and ability. May the muse whisper to us all today and always.

Frames

8:30pm EST

After my usual Qi Gong and sitting this morning I left for work. I choose to drive in quiet and take in the leaves and rain for the beginning of my commute today. Then I played some ear training exercises for the final 10 minutes. When I got out of my car I noticed that the rain sounded in a way I have never heard. I wondered was it all the leaves on the parking lot or my concentrated listening with the exercises. I posted this to Facebook and one musician said both. The good news I was present to notice and happy for this intriguing sound.

Various quotes arose to frame my day today.

Photo by Baron von Willig. All rights reserved.


"It is not we who create performance but performance which creates us" (Daevid Allen)

Certainly true for me, but I leave you to ponder this.

From an AT person: Alexander Technique -because we create habits. Are you creating what you hope for in your habits?

And later I found- "A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence." ~Leopold Stokowski

Finally from our book discussion group tonight, the book we are using "you are here" by Thich Nhat Hahn. "Has the most wonderful moment of your life already happened?"

A rich and thoughtful day. Smiling as I remember now that the Tuning the Air team is setting up for tonight's show in Seattle. Now I am off to practice.

10:10 pm EST

Just completed a practice that had joy throughout. I want to say this is rare but these days that my be more my norm. Need to look at this. Anyhow I began with improvising. One phrase really resounded with me and I followed where it led. Called this Frames as this was in my brain from the earlier posting. So far it is short and that is wonderful. Perhaps a series of minature pieces called Frames is in order. Perhaps not. Worked on Stepping Stones,  a new piece that came to me & I am now learning how to play. Delighted in playing through Livin' the Dream and then Gathered Hearts.