Play It Backwards

After practicing yesterday we drove to Dillsburg, Pennsylvania.  My wife and I offered a day long Meditation and Qi Gong retreat today that was well received and as always happens when we do these events we were energized.  Pack up and drive home with a stop in a small town for dinner.  Unpacking our car at 7:30, we took a quick walk around our block to take in our local Cherry Blossoms.

Ordinarily this would be enough for me, but I do have the gig at Electric Maid  tomorrow.  I knew if I did not review the pieces in the set, I'd be concerned about my performance.  Too close for a night off and the show must go on.  After a hot shower, I sat for a few minutes to summon my energies.  Pick particular pieces or run the set were the options I saw.  Then the thought arrived, play the set backwards. Which is what I've done so far.  Beginning with the last piece and working my way back to the beginning.  Very tired, but exercising my memory, my heart, and my commitment.  When I arrived at the middle I decided a short break was in order.

Maybe now when I go back, I'll play from the beginning of the set and see the middle from both directions.

Photo by Suzette.

Commitment to a Challenge

As described in the post Fail Forward from Sunday, the new piece, Meco, was performed for Joann on Sunday 2/8/15 without a known ending.   I worked with the piece throughout yesterday and at 7:55 pm EST found an ending. Fortunate as I had another performance for Joann scheduled at 9 pm.  Technical issues with the execution of the piece need to be worked out.  Through the power of commitment to a challenge a new piece was born and I continue to learn about the guitar, music, and myself.

And just so the Universe knows, I'm open to another piece arriving this week.

Photo by Tjololo

Fail Forward

How to come up with a piece in 24 hours?  Something about having to produce on tight schedule with a deadline provides  creative juices.  I made a quick decision to work with the Phyrgian Major mode that Curt Golden used in a riff a few days back.  Found a beginning last night and a couple places to explore further, before we left to attend a spirited performance by Tia Nina last night.

While working with Meco this morning I have extended the beginning, have a few ideas floating about and a possible ending.  Time for a walk to allow this to settle.  Then back to work.  While the sparks of creativity continue to amaze me, I know that it is the ongoing persistent efforts that bring any piece home.  Showing up day after day, doing what is needed.  I've yet to find a shortcut.

At 9:30 pm I played the piece for my wife.  I did not have an ending, but knew that one might appear during the act of performance.  The end did not appear.  C'est la vie.  But the challenge commited to was honored and there is a good beginning done.  Another performance has been scheduled for tomorrow evening to bring this failure forward.

Photo by Erfan A. Setiawan.

Doing the Work

Yesterday was very productive for me.  I had many personal items to address.  All of these took longer than I anticipated as is the nature of life. After dinner I had a brief nap with the intention of putting in my 2 hours of guitar work afterward.  I was awakened from the nap by a friend in need. I was happy to respond but did not arrive back home until 9:15 pm.

After a snack and brief conversation with my wife, I went to work at 9:35 pm. I had made a commitment to practice guitar two hours a day while participating with The Orchestra of Crafty Guitarists XI - Preparation Course at a distance.The first hour was relatively easy.  After a five minute break I resumed, looking at the clock and feeling sleepy. At 10:55 pm I paused to do an Alexander Technique lie down.  Oh did my body need this, want this, and then the urge to crawl into bed was so so strong.  At 11:05 pm I was back on my stool.  I asked the course for help.  It did not seem to be arriving so I struggled, rationalized and refocused constantly; only to be distracted by my body and now my feelings.

Then with 20 minutes to go, I had a thought to look at an old score I found cleaning up last week. This score represents an idea I've not been able to complete. The working title is Corvus and dates from 2011. This is revisited about every 6 months.  I can not find where to it wants to go, but I love what has unfolded.  While refamiliarising myself with the notes and structure, energy arrived from the course and from the piece.  Through I mistake, I saw the potential for where Corvus might take off.  After putting away the guitar, I was exhausted.  I then had trouble falling asleep. C'est la vie.

Photo by Magnus Franklin

Hiding From Commitment

During an incredibly wonderful dinner with family on New Years Eve we discussed hopes and aspirations for the coming year.  Not quite resolutions, but in the spirit of positive projections and possibilities.  On New Years day this thought arose within me - to publish this blog daily for the New Year.

Recognition of the rightness of this arose & resonated within. Just behind this the resistance began to formulate and excitement about the challenge blends with fear of failure.  But as I know, truly in my heart and mind, possibly even within my body, that with commitment all the rules change.

Resources, time, and material are available - I only need to make the commitment to myself.  What will I learn from this?  What will I miss if I do not? 

Photo by Tj Matthews

Commitment - A New Twist

In Guitar we have an aphorism - With commitment all the rules change.

I've experienced this on various levels and used this to motivate myself over the years.  Last night I had an interesting experience that was new to me.  I've been participating in The Field DC for the past month with seven sessions remaining. In the past The Field has been a very fruitful process for me and I usually set goals for myself.  This time I did not.  I just took an open view about the possibilities and having more time available than in the past did not want to limit myself.

Yesterday I  decided to write a goal for our next showing.  An idea or nugget arose while practicing Monday and continued to corral my attention on Tuesday past.  This idea is hard on my left hand as two notes must be held down for long periods of time as the other two dance around a bass line.  The stress of having my second and fourth fingers anchored builds rather quickly.  When the transition arrives to move those two finger from a fourth to a sixth on the fretboard arrives, I can not execute the move.  Thus I have looked at this separately.


Last night after writing my goal to show this piece on our next session, I then forwarded my intent to show to the facilitator.  Moving to my guitar I was then amazed as I visited this work in progress called Turning the Wheel.  My left hand had a relaxed presence that was dramatically different from the session before.  Still surprised at how my body is helping me to now honor this commitment.  Now if I can only find an ending to the piece.



Photo by Kevin Dooley.

Showing Up

This morning I was reading Robert's Diary and one of my favorite aphorisms arrived - With commitment all the rules change.  A good thought to guide my day.  When I came home the motivation to pick up my guitar was lacking.  But because of the commitment I have made to myself, I did open the case and went back to my beginnings.  Playing the first piece that ever came to me generally gets the energy moving.  But tonight other than playing the piece, I was still stuck.

I sensed that I needed some juice, perhaps a brush with the creative process.  I needed an idea.  Holding my guitar with six strings in tune, the clever thought when all else fails do nothing arrived.  So I did for a while, but then I let this go.  Picking up my notebook that contains various ideas and pieces in progress, I looked for an old idea to rework.  Finding a score with a working title of Taking the Veil, I played with this.

Not enough of a spark was in this idea, so I looked again for a new one.  Nothing arrived.  But I had shown up, honored my commitment.  I trust that this will serve me in the longer process of being a musician.  Currently listening to an older work in progress as I type this, I believe I have my bridge to tomorrows work.

No Mystery

For ten minutes I sat and held the question - What does mystery sound like?  The usual answer's arriving and being let go.  As I moved to open my case I looked out the window and realize I certainly know what mystery looks like.  Trees, flowers, buildings, and people.  All arising from the unknown.  The sound of a child crying arises in my mind; letting go of this and I think of laughter.  Then I am flooded with unrelated thoughts.

After tuning I sit and again ask myself the question - long tones, Gregorian Chant arise.  Suddenly I am hypersensitive to the sounds outside.  Long tones arrive again, I know I want to begin with long tones, a certain anxiousness arrives and I continue to hold this question.  Am I a madman arises in my thinking.  I begin to play and do so for nearly 4 minutes with the tape running.  Again I sit and wait,  thoughts arrive and go, and I play again for 3:45.  I did notice some collapse as I played and directed to release this as I could.  This second take 'felt' real good to me.  One more take in a similar manner and again this felt right.  A part of me wanted to listen back to the tape, but I did not.


A session later with three more improvisations all of which felt like shit. Perhaps this improvising a musical answer to this question is beyond me.  Doubts arising about my ability to undertake this challenge of spontaneous composition period.  Yet I know I'll persist with this commitment, I know this.  Discouraged, I wanted to listen to the early tapes, but decided against this for now.

Chuckling as this title for this post arrives - No Mystery.  The associative leap to Chick Corea electric band's funky masterpiece is instantaneous.  The thinking continues ... can I direct my thinking?

Seize the Moment

My body is a bit twitchy today.  Partially a result of constantly being awakened last night, no malice involved, just the way it was.  And the two nights prior I've had trouble sleeping.  An hour ago I was drifting off to nap, when the phone rang.  C'est la vie.  Now I'm fed and looking at how to use my evening.

If only I could give an AT instruction that "lengthened and widened" the time I have available.  One errand must be run, a commitment to myself needs to be addressed at 8:30 pm, and also my guitar.  So I guess it is time to pick up my guitar and then tend to the other two.  Now why was this so befuddling before I began to write?

I guess I did lengthen and widen the "use" of my evening. 

With a Little Help From My Wife.

Today was my sixth day in a row at work, one that spread Holiday joy, but drained me physically.  After a shower, rest, and a light dinner I was ready to spend the night in a chair watching CSI and  related programs.  Rare behavior for me, but I really am tired.  Then my wife told me that I would practice, that I needed to practice.  She is a wise person, so I listened.

Unlike last night, I found it easy to pick up my guitar. Fortunately strings and nails remained intact tonight. Like last night I focused on using the Alexander Technique to address my use in relationship to the guitar. I was looking at how I begin a piece of music.  Beginning, pausing, coming into a relationship with my body, and beginning again.  Beginning at times in the middle of the piece, just a different look at how I begin.  Was I there when I began to play?

Connection seemed to be the theme for tonight. Connection with my body, with my length, with the earth below me and the universe above me.  At one point, with my guitar on my body I was playing with my arms in space, similar to something David and I did in class recently.  My right hand came into position from below the body of the guitar rather than from my across. I noticed a freedom in my elbow and an advantageous positioning of my wrist from this. This new movement was free of habitual patterning.

I worked with two different parts of pieces which challenge my right hand, to see if this "freedom" impacted my execution.  And then I noticed that my energy was flowing.  After playing with pieces,  I began to improvise.  A sweet little melody tinkled out which I worked with for the remainder of my time.  A loving push from my wife, aligned with my ongoing commitment to music and my intentional connection with life energies led to an insight about my playing and a gentle kiss with music. A brief but fruitful practice.  What is your commitment?  How do you connect?

10 minutes later:

I forgot to mention that to honor the life of Don Von Vliet I practiced with my hat on tonight. May he Rest in Peace, thanks for the memories and the music Captain. Here are his Ten Rules for Guitar Playing.

The End of this Process

I was pretty well drained after work yesterday. The emotions of my visit with my friend described in the last post, coupled with the demands of another day at work had me wanting and needing an evening off. I did let go of my AT class but knew I had to practice. Tomorrow night I begin the first of four live recording gigs with Tony so I could not afford to let go of my practice. How to generate energy and enthusiasm when I just wanted to go to bed at 7:30pm?

I also recognized that I was at a familiar place energy wise that arises at the end of a process. After having worked hard for a sustained period of time and with the end is close at hand is a hazardous place for me. To be inattentive or just let go now jeopardizes all that has been applied and generated. I am committed to my music making; disciplined in my approach; and as a friend recently pointed out - devoted might be the better term. But I just had no physical nor emotional energy, or at least I thought. The mind - the place where all my problems begin. What to do? I decided on a few small areas of three pieces I could work on. Then I  pulled myself out my large black reclining chair, hesitantly letting down the leg rest, and reluctantly went down to the basement.

Slowly I worked on just the first few notes of the arpeggio that begins Dancin' Free. Adding a few notes at a time I worked through the opening section. This slow considered work connected me to the guitar and to my previous practice sessions. My attention engaged, I began to forget my tiredness.  I was just slowly, carefully playing the notes. Before I knew it I wanted to practice. And practice I did, my process staying on track. I visited several problem sections and felt my energy rise. Played through a few other pieces and completed my practice.

Tonight I began again with these problem sections which are much improved and then played through the set. Tomorrow the process of recording begins. Time to exercise care with the beginning of this new process, after a good nights sleep. Stay tuned.

Aligning

I received notice from the New York Guitar Circle this week regarding their meeting this evening from 7:00 - 9:30 pm EST. While I could not be there in person I could align with their energy and commitment and practice guitar during this time period. Usually I send the team good wishes, but this week I knew I needed an extra boost so I said yes to joining them from a distance.

I began at 7pm with a 10 minute Alexander Technique lie down. For the next 20 minutes I focused on working with my right hand. I paused frequently to reconnect with the AT directions and allow them to inform my right hand. The aphorism states "we begin again constantly," and this was certainly the case during this period. As I noticed my right hand drifting into habit I paused and re-established contact.

A 5 minute break to stretch and then a brief improvisation in C hijaz. I played slowly so that I could notice the right hand at work. I played through Here We Are and Kinnara, two slow pieces, again watching my right hand. Giving brief directions during the rests in Kinnara. A few more minutes of stretching and then I looked at the opening section of Dancin' Free.

I turned on the tape machine and played Dancin' Free, Gathered Hearts, and Dandelion Wish as I will be playing them this friday at the Voice from the Heart Community/Unity Variety Show. My playing felt good.

A ten minute break to take out trash and then I choose to not listen to the recording of the three pieces. I heard the rough spot in Dandelion Wish and worked with it. Then I moved on to working with Aftermath. Progress being made in the section and I was tempted to play through the entire piece. But I recalled my decision at the beach this weekend to inhibit that desire to see how it is fitting together. Just work on the sections this week. So that was what I did. But it was tempting. Was this habit at work? More likely my ego, wanting to see how quickly I had relearned this challenging piece. When in reality it is not yet in my hands, so just follow my own plan.

After this I played through Stepping Stones as I had not played this in over a week. Enjoying this piece very much. The time was 9:15 pm and I was tempted to call it a night. Much good work accomplished and I am tired. I rationalized that I could write the blog post. But I had made a commitment to myself. So I played through Livin' the Dream and completed my guitar work with A Journeyman's Way Home.

A few minutes of quiet sitting and sending good wishes to my friends in New York to complete my evening. Throughout the evenings practice I returned to the AT directions. I did not detail that throughout this post, but took the opportunity to comeback to the AT work in the various transitions of this practice session.

                              Photo: When the Stars Align

Commitment

http://www.flickr.com/photos/eschipul/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Found myself sharing this Guitar Craft aphorism early this morning - " With commitment all the rules change." Sage words, and when I have honored various commitments over the years despite any momentary exhaustion, emotional upheaval, or even laziness, the outcomes have been sustaining and informative.

While practicing this afternoon, I found myself ready to drop a new piece, Stepping Stones, from the set list for the House Concert next weekend. One very tricky passage has improved markedly, yet confidence in my ability to play this passage is lacking. Over lunch I decided to drop it and add an older piece that I would need to relearn. I located the score and began working on Girl on a Pink Blanket. I love this piece but have not played it since we recorded it because of a couple nasty stretches for my left hand. The lingering fragility from tendinitis kept me from this piece.

But now that my shoulder and wrist are healthy due to sustained Alexander Technique practice, I thought I would give it a shot. I began working on the piece, enjoying what I was hearing & playing. Finding imperfections in the score made me listen to the recording to figure out what to play. I found my efforts lacking heart though. Was I relearning this piece for the wrong reasons? Would music better be served by continuing to work on mastering Stepping Stones? I took a break, reflected on this and decided that the difficult section was part of the reason. Another reason is there are several tuning and capo changes and I was looking to minimize hazard from having yet another one in a short set.

Yet the set needs Stepping Stones, and this piece needs live performance to truly come into being. Did not take me long to write down my commitment to perform Stepping Stones next week.  I worked with the difficult section a bit and then decided to play the piece. On with the tape machine, and I played it three times. Between the first and second times I did an AT lie down to lengthen my spine and relax. I focused on connecting with the instrument, my arms, my feet on the ground and my breath. Again for the third attempt I focused on connection, broadening it to the universe. Leading up to the tricky section 'trust music' entered my mind. I smiled and let go. The section flowed.

After dinner I practiced some more and turned my attention to this piece. Again this section flowed. Looks as if I will be trusting the power of commitment and of course music.

Struggle Continues

Currently it is 9:10 EDT. Began practicing 30 minutes ago. Really want to blow off the notation part tonight. Really feeling the need to just play the guitar, work on the pieces I have. Intellectually I can justify this, yet I know I need to honor the commitment that I made. After all I made it for a reason and in a short period of time it has served me well. To let go tonight, no matter how tired I am from a wonderful family day is a mistake. So back to practice. Soon to notate.

9:44 EDT

I listened to the rough recording of what I recaptured of "Beneath Dark Images" from friday night and still can not hear all of the piece in my mind. I decided to notate the other part that I have recalled and then take it from there. This difficulty shows me why I must record these ideas, especially as they develop further and notate at least chord structures as I go along. Now I can return to playing a bit.

10:00 EDT
Played "Livin' the Dream" so effortlessly that I called it a night. good to end on a high point. Just typed EBT instead of mistake. Yes it is Eastern Bed Time for me.

Stay Tuned!

First Post

Today is the fifth day of a commitment I made while reading The Affluent Artist Blog. The topic of Rock's blog that day was Procrastination, which made me think of what part of my creative process do I regularly procrastinate. He had also issued six week challenge for himself regarding his goals.

I decided to jump in and challenge myself to work with notating and the making of recordings to save ideas and pieces for future reflection. Over the years I have lost many pieces from not having a regular ongoing system for saving them. Two years ago I purchased an Edirol R-09, aportable mp3 recorder with built in mics so that I could always easily record a snapshot of an idea. And I have sporadically notated pieces.

Today is Day 5 of this commitment and it has been fruitful. I have posted updates to the Affluent Artist Blog and today decided it is time to begin my own blog. One piece Dancin' Free was notated the first two days of this process and the third day I brought overall order to my record keeping of the R-09 recordings.

Then yesterday on Day 4 a real breakthrough occurred.

From my post on the Afflunet Artist Blog.

" There was a piece that came out in December that I began notating the first few bars then and thought that I had recorded. I found out a while back that I had not recorded it and was distressed.
Tonight I spent a few minutes notating what I still knew and organized some notes on another piece. However I still had nearly ten minutes remaining to this commitment. I returned to working on the first piece ” Beneath Dark Images” to see if I could jog my brain.
This is always a tough place for me to be in, attempting to recapture a piece. Kicks up feelings of inadequacy & incompetence spinning me into a funk. But I persisted listening with my mind for the transition to the next section. What was I going to do. To move to another piece at this point would be a cop out.
Then I heard the next part in my ear. Played it. Yes. The piece began to reveal itself to me again. More playing and then I hit record and then made some notes."
Today I had such a sense of relief from this work of yesterday. I took another look at "Beneath Dark Images" and then moved on to exploring. I just began to play a chord and then another and I follow where they might lead me. I heard something that I liked, but did not have much time before I needed to leave so I recorded the idea.
Later in the evening I returned to this and as a new twist to my process I began notating this small snippet of an idea, just 16 bars. But while notating this I played a bit more with the notion and bounced to recording, and back to notating, and then a new rough recording.

Stay tuned for where this goes.