Offering Space

What art offers is space - a certain breathing room for the spirit.
                                   John Updike






Do I accept the offering?                          Can I accept the offering?




                                 Do I add to the offering?

                             

                                  Breathing with hope.

                            
                       Today is the day to make Your Offering

                                          Will You?



First Photo by Justus Hayes

Second Photo by US Army
                                           


                                      

When Snow and Notes Fall

I was watching a beautiful snow fall this afternoon.  Thoughts about practicing guitar arose and were countered with - I did have a good practice this morning.  True, but I was in a great place, which is always a good time to practice.  Besides I thought I could practice looking out the window as the snow fell.

And it was beautiful - watching snow without concern, while playing.  Can I release the notes as effortlessly, beautifully and uniquely as each snowflake?  Just as the snow cascades from the sky, may the notes release from my guitar with rhythm and space amongst them.  May they blanket the ears of the listener as gracefully as the snow caresses the trees and grass.  May my notes resonate after they have landed continuing to inspire, change, and add to the life of the listener.  May I be as silent as the Heavens from which the snow and music descends.

Photo by Rabiem22

Negating Up

While waiting for someone at work today, the thought arose - I am not holding myself down.  Smiling as I saw a possible way around the often confusing "forward and up" of Alexander lingo.  I have used the direction  "allow my neck to be free in such a way that mu head is forward and up ..." for years.  And I still will, but there is something fresh about finding and exploring negative directions.  Jumping about Missy Vineyards book  I see she is very much concerned with her students developing spatial awareness by simplifying the AT directions.  From what I have garnered from others more experienced in the teaching and application of AT she is the first one to use "negative directions."

In the few instances I have directed "I am not holding myself down," I sense a lightness and easing upwards of my torso, while maintaining a connection with my feet.  Taking this one step further with "I am not holding myself back" as the negative corollary to "forward" I also found that I was not attempting to "do anything" in response to the "holding myself back" direction.   There is also another sense inherent in "not holding myself back" that could serve me well musically. 

I am practicing in a room that has a beautiful oval mirror which captures my torso from my navel to the top of head.  Framed in this manner within the oval gives me a great sense of width to complement the spatial relationships I am playing with.  Feeling light and free as I play guitar tonight. So onwards with playing with the AT directions and assesing the results.

Be in the Space

Grateful tonight for simple conveniences such as lights and air conditioning after having done without the past two days. As I was taking my guitar out of the case I had a wish - May I be in the space where I am practicing.  So simple, yet so difficult to just be where I am.  To be alive in the space I am living in this moment.  Using the Alexander Technique principle of inhibition, I paused and directed my thinking, rather than just allowing my habitual responses to having a guitar in my hands to arise.

Using the negative direction of "I am not compressing my neck," I then moved on to "I am not playing the guitar."  From these thoughts and then thinking forward, up, and wide, I took in the space that has been offered to me tonight.  Enjoying the sound of my guitar in a different room, while lightly thinking to keep myself free.

Slowly the thought of "I am not playing the guitar," is offering glimpses of non-doing as I play.  While singing the bass notes of a tremolo piece as I played, I entered the piece in a new way; perhaps I entered the space within the piece.  Hearing what is possible for this piece and realizing I do not need to think about what the music means, but rather to play the meaning.  Slowly, ever so slowly, I learn.

Finding Freedom, Finding Space

Tonight I was again working with inhibition in the Alexander Technique sense, to examine and understand how to play a difficult section of music.  This section comprises a jump from playing an arpeggio in the sixth position to the sixteenth position and then onto a yet different chord shape in the eighteenth position.  Generally my arrival in the eighteenth position is where the problematic playing manifests, yet I had a sense that my actual problem was beginning before then.

I began by only arpeggiating the chords in the fifth, sixth, sixteenth positions and then inhibiting myself from playing any more.  Pausing before beginning this sequence again, I would give the directions to lengthen and widen, with the aim of beginning with good use.  At one point I noticed a slight moving forward of my right shoulder as my left hand made the jump to the sixteenth position.  Why am I doing this I wondered?  An answer did not arrive, but it seems as if somehow my right hand was attempting to help my left hand.  As the right shoulder moved forward, this also causes my right wrist to arch.  Unnecessary tension was being introduced at this point.  I began to work with making this jump while allowing my shoulders to remain wide and free.  This took quite some time.  I noticed there was a bit of anticipation arising as I finished the arpeggio prior to the jump.  Was this emotional entanglement intensifying as the passage continued and also confusing my use?  As I was not playing the full passage I could not observe this, but have a strong hunch that it was.  When my concentration faded I let go of this work.

After a short break I returned, and played with making the three shapes in the sixteenth position with my left hand and merely strumming them with the right hand rather than playing the arpeggio.  Then I introduced the move to the eighteenth position with it's various variations, while continuing to just strum each chord.  As I did this, I noticed that while the area between the frets is narrow on this part of the guitar, I was finding greater space to move my fingers within.  Nothing had changed about the fretboard, but my experience was one of space.  I decided to leave this particular exploration at this point.  Both hands and arms had gained new information, and rather than end-gain and attempt to put the section together, I wanted my body to assimilate the information.

As I resumed practicing, I began to play through a few pieces.  Happily I noticed that the AT attention I had given to my earlier practice was continuing to manifest with good use.  Time to return to playing.

The Final Frontier

Space. What does space have to do with guitar playing? Awareness of the space around me has been part of the Alexander Technique training that I have been exposed to for years. Yet my habit wants to take me inward. Bodies move through space. When I play guitar I am playing in space. Can being aware of this space support myself as I play?

In my work with AT David has worked with me on allowing space beneath my armpits. To just think of this space not to do anything, but to think of it as being available. This notion was not new, Sandra has raised my awareness of this over the years, but this week something became alive for me. Subtle yet palpable. Even now as I think of this a sense lightness and "up" arrives, a greater sense of being in the room, that is a sense of the space in which I am.  We also played with my arms making gestures and being supported by the space beneath them.  More subtle work involved here, informed by my practice of Qi Gong. Then we added the guitar into our work.

Yesterday morning "connect with space" was my word for the day as I completed my morning Qi Gong session.  This became alive when I sat in my car. A confined but comfortable space where my movements are limited. Noticing the trees along Sligo Creek as I drove to work. Life bursting forth as spring arrives.  The different relationships to space as I paused in the parking lot and took in the morning sun. Do I have space beneath my arms I found myself asking? Throughout my morning I notice the different spaces I enter at my workplace. Hallways, my office, the kitchen,  the elevator, other offices and hallways all become part of my space. When I notice them a certain lightness arrives in my upper torso.

Be in the Space

As I began doing Qi Gong this morning, I thought of yesterday's phrase for the day - "Be Free". I checked in with my body by giving the Alexander Technique directions as they allow me freedom in movement. As I did the Crane Stretching exercise I became aware of the space that I was moving in. This shift in awareness, waking me up a bit more allowed my movements to be free at the same time. We worked with the Bear movement next. My "bear paws" forming circles in front of my body, I again saw how much space I occupy. Still maintaining a sense of my hands we began the Swimming Dragon sequence. The space around me supporting my movements as my hands guided my body.

We then moved into a movement I learned from Luciano Pietrafesa. My body lengthening as I hung to the ground, I had  a sense of the space of my chest cavity as I continued this movement up and away. As my arms lengthened one at a time to the side of me and traveled across the space above my head, I once again found the space was supporting me as long as I extended my awareness to include it. By now I knew the phrase of this day is "Be in the Space." After a couple more movements, we traced this phrase with our hands to complete our practice.

After sitting meditation, as I opened my eyes I became aware of the space of our living room, the room holding me as I breathed. Again I had a sense of the space within my chest cavity. Slowly this space that supports all of life was breathing in, and then breathing out. This space of life which not only invites in the air that nourishes my tissues but also houses my heart. Can I be in the space of my breathing while I move through the space of my day? Walking meditation is an ongoing  simple and profound practice I use to explore this. Can I be in the space of my desk as my fingers flirt with the keyboard? Releasing my spine into the universe above me and the earth below me, I watch the gentle expansion and release of the space of my chest.

I move within the spray beneath my shower. Expanding and cleansing my body as I delight in the warm flowing water. I again sense my spine lengthening toward the sky and into the earth. My shoulders feel as wide as the horizon, as I recognize that the entire cosmos is within me. From this internal space I can do anything my dreams desire. Finding the space and being in the space remains the crux of life.


Later in the day while walking down the stairs at the local library, I become aware of the space above me and then around me. Smiling I sense my beloved walking next to me, with me. We enter the crisp autumn air with the leaves rustling in the wind. What a delightful sound on our wonderful planet.
Eager to go home and to be with my guitar.

Usually I practice in the basement, but with the sun shining so brightly and my wife at the gym, I moved to the living room. To begin this session I again traced the phrase "Be in the Space," with my hands. Sensing the Qi as I settled onto my stool, I decided to begin by playing Gathered Hearts.  I directed my spine to lengthen in both directions and to allow my pelvis to be free. My arms lengthening from wide shoulders as I brought them to my guitar. I began to play, taking in the space and listening to the different sonic quality of this room. I always enjoy playing this piece and generally feel myself let go of concerns and soften.

I moved onto working with Beneath Dark Images. Setting the metronome to 70 bpm I worked with the second section that is in double time relative to the first section. I focused on two specific changes that currently derail the piece. Paying attention to the metronome and the space around me, I found my mind quieting, directing my hands to relax and to play with ease. I gave myself permission to begin again and again as my hands learned to operate in time at this tempo. Relaxing into the incessant demand of the metronome, I focused on the movement of my left hand's fingers through the space around the fingerboard. "Process" I remind myself is what practice is about. Slow as progress may be, there is no way but through. Being in the space where the process is sufficient and results secondary is nourishing for me.

My practice was cut short, as I heard the leaf collecting truck approach our street. Aghast that I had nothing for them to collect, I sprinted outside and raked furiously for 35 minutes. Driven by urgency, I had no sense of myself being outdoors on a beautiful fall day, just a drive to maximize leaf volume. Chuckling about this when I was putting away the rake, I joined my wife for a late lunch.

The hour after eating is never a good time for me to practice, so I wrote this blog for a while. Again as with the leaf collection, I found myself "end gaining*" rather than being concerned with process. Impatience impeded the flow of my words. Certainly this is part of who I am, and with the help of my various practices my tendency to "end gain" and/or react is evolving. But end gaining is still very much a part of me. I noticed that the sun was setting, so I decided to walk.

Arriving at Sligo Creek I began my walk by softly singing Beneath Dark Images in time with my steps. When I do this I am never certain how to deal with a ritard in relationship to my step. Then I just enjoyed my walk, noticing how the space had changed since my last walk here. Most of the leaves have fallen and now the branches of the trees sketch their maze across the twilight. Marveling at the space between and among the branches, highlighted by the different densities of clouds and clear space I walked slowly and sliently. Looking up at the tree tops, I think of my spine lengthening once again, allowing the base of my spine to mimic the roots of the trees. I begin to walk backwards and observe how different this motion is compared to my walking forward. I sense a freedom in this difference, but perhaps it is only due to the novelty of this movement for me. Then I pause on a bridge and take in the long winding path carved by Sligo Creek.

On my return walk, I again sing through Beneath Dark Images and find my steps slowing when I arrive at the ritard. I realize I never know how to deal with this musical event with the metronome either. As the tempo slows in a ritard, what is the subtle relationship to the original pulse? I choose to maintain the pace of my steps and apply the ritard. I find this difficult and realize there is a learning opportunity for me in this area.

I lay down to nap and look at a collection of Robert Motherwell's ink drawings on paper. I have been attracted to these simple works for years. Tonight I notice his playing in two dimensional space as if for the first time. These drawings are small but powerful.

Upon awakening from my nap, I move to my guitar. I play through Beneath Dark Images, Broken Wing, and Becoming for my wife. I work with taking in the space as I begin and being in it as I play. My recent work in the Alexander Technique has been about being in the space and allowing the space to support me. I always find this easier to do with my wife as the audience than when I am in David's studio. This has everything to do with our relationship and with her ability to be present. Smiling now as I once again touch upon how fortunate I am in this life.

My wife just reminded me of her favorite moment of my "being in the space" today, when we hugged gently after lunch. How right she is!

* For those unfamiliar with the language of the Alexander Technique I offer this definition in Alexander's own words. 

            'End gaining is a universal habit' (F M Alexander ~ The Use of the Self).  End gaining is the tendency we have to keep our mind and actions focused on an end result whilst losing sight of, and frequently at the expense of, the means-whereby the result is achieved.  

Thanks to Hillary King for this definition.

Providing Opportunity for the Muse to Arrive

Grateful today for the new piece Broken Wing which arrived last night. Why does this happen? I can not control the time nor circumstance but I do create the opportunity. My musical practice is regular and ongoing. Many years ago in my early days in Guitar Craft my practice was too rigid. Exercise after exercise followed by working on pieces that were very difficult to play. Robert told me that I needed to play more. To provide a time each evening to just play. During this time I should abandon concerns with technique and see what music might be available to me.

This is an ongoing part of my practice, a time to improvise and listen. Last night I noticed the possibility of a state I have experienced before. I stayed with the flow and played with what I had. Within an hour Broken Wing was a piece of music. Moments such as this when the creative spark is kindled energize me for a long time. Tonight I played with Broken Wing, examining possibilities within the inherent structure of the piece, playing with each section to listen to what might be.

Tomorrow I will perform this for The Field, a works in progress structure that meets for ten weeks. The Field is a space to explore, take chances, and to bring works alive. Another reason to be grateful.

The question I had for myself when I began writing tonight concerns the space I create for myself while practicing. The intent is to be quiet  in my mind, at peace with where I am musically, and attentive to the use of myself. Ever striving for greater connection with myself, my guitar, with music, and the unknown. Tonight while practicing and working with a notion from my last Alexander Technique class to allow the space to support me left arm, I wondered what is the energy in the space around me? Can I allow this energy to be love? Will I connect?