Learning. Progress. Mistakes. Setbacks. Learning. Hope. Mistakes. Joy.
Ease. Then not; and so on. The process continues.
Listening to Bartok String Quartet #5. - Arrived. For now.
What do I need to let go of to achieve this? Part of this also has to do with age. I do not know when my ability to play may be compromised. While this is always true, turning 65 adds a certain clarity to reality. Coupled with the wealth of new material generated during this time of retreat due to Covid I feel like the time is ripe. Fortunately I have the right person in Tony Geballe to work with. Stay tuned.
Time to listen to Bartok’s Sixth String Quartet one of the most beautiful & powerful pieces of music I know.
Bartok was difficult for me to listen to when I first encountered his work 30 years ago. My intent had been to listen to some of the Mikrocosmos as these solo piano pieces better fit my work. But one never knows how the brain will respond.
After lunch I took at look at The Hidden, a score in progress. After an hour I was uncertain where to go next so I let it go. Happy to have moved it forward and will listen again tomorrow. Picked my guitar up after this and a new idea emerged that I know was inspired by the opening of the Bartok Sonata. After an hour. Picked my guitar up after this and a new idea emerged that I know was inspired by the opening of the Bartok Sonata. Had to let go before I wanted to for dinner prep and teaching Qi Gong tonight.
Listening to Fantasias for Theremin and String Quartet by Caroline Eyck and American Contemporary Music Ensemble. I’ve loved string quartets for a long time, particularly the 5th and 6th of Bela Bartok. Tonight I needed something fresh to open my ears and I’m happy to have found this. The addition of the theremin is adding that other-worldly sensibility that is where I seem to be. Two long days with practice, doing work for the recording workshop I’m taking, walks and life. Wondering at times if I’ve taken on the impossible with this wish to release Fences Frames and Alleys in July. Smiling as I remember my friend Tom’s new aphorism - Begin with the Impossible. So there I am.
How far within my limits have I lived this life? What will I use today that will increase my capability to enhance our world? What might I bring to one note, then another?
Today I began learning a piece that arose recently - When I Am. If I wish to play with ease and joy - how might I apply these factors to my learning this piece? Before I began my practice today I went through the TheCycle by Mio Morales. An exercise of constructive thinking based on his work with the Alexander Technique. I have been practicing this with a group of AT teachers that I was introduced to by Peter Legowski.
As I worked with the first four bars of music, I would pause and invite in ease and joy using the TheCycle. When I noticed I wanted to rush to the next section, I would again pause introducing ease. What better way to have this sense of ease and joy then to introduce them into the act of learning. If you would like to spend a few minutes in active relaxation join these AT teachers at 10 am Eastern M-F. More info is here: https://www.wholenessworkshop.com/post/it-s-hard-to-make-a-change
Must doubt creep into the alley attempting to reframe a dream?
How many times have I, will I need to jump over this fence?
Doubt is not an anchor. More a current.
Perhaps a signal I’m on to something.
Who do I need to walk the dark alleys with me?
Which alley shall I avoid?
Every fence has a gate.
Don’t shoot out the last street light.
Brake the old frames.
Unending work, uncertain work
On myself and for others.
Release into Now.
While journaling this morning I knew what my word for today was - Release. Usually my wife and I choose one as we complete our Qi Gong practice. Today I introduced the word at the beginning of our practice together. Why release?
I’ve been working on a plan to release Fences, Frames and Alleys in July. Actually quite a leap for me, perhaps even impossible. I have enough good material. I have the time. Can I master the material for the recording process? Well with a plan, passion and discipline this release becomes possible
What else need to be released? Unnecessary tension in my body is always a given. The stories I have been told that negate my passion. Beating up on myself when progress is not proceeding at the pace I determined should be reasonable. Expectations period. Any sense that I can do this alone. Much support is needed.
As I opened my case this morning I paused to release my current expectations and ask for help. I burst out laughing when I opened my case to see I had already moved my guitar into the practice space. So much for paying attention. So it goes.