The Privilege

Warming up, but holding back.  Dancing that fine line of settling in with my guitar, yet saving my energy for playing at this Benefit tonight.  Already a long day.  I caught a nap on the ride back from Baltimore.  Always good to be with family, even for a funeral.  Now onto playing.

For the next few hours I'll be quiet, close to my guitar, and directing my focus.  Grateful for the privilege to play music and to all those who have instructed, inspired, and supported the act of music all these years.  May music take me in her confidence tonight and always.

Benefit for Electric Maid

Surf the Edge

What happens at the edge?  Just about everything - growth, learning, art.  When you encounter a wave you surf with all that you are.  You fall, get up, surf another wave and fall again.  This is the nature of surfing.  All the while learning how to surf on the edge of water, even the edge of time.  Or you dive into the wave, into the unknown.  The water may let you go deeper water or it may slam you into the sand.  Limits are encountered and worked through.

Playing music is a form of surfing on waves of sound.  The act of playing music is where our inner world meets the outer world.  May I be alive in both.  Can I express what is in my heart, through my hands and a guitar?  Can I meet the edge in the present moment and enhance those who listen?  Will I seek the wave and ride with all of my being?

When Habits Reassert Themselves

Choice dwells within the present moment.  Habit is the accumulation of our experiences, expressed generally as an unconscious pattern of behavior.  The struggle I faced tonight was habit reasserting its' domain when I was tired.  Today I practiced amplified in preparation for the gig on Saturday.  Switching to being amplified requires an adjustment on my part as the guitar sounds different and the energy of the music is a bit trickier to control.  Not to mention the amplification of either poor technique or mistakes.

This plays on my psyche and requires time and attention.  I had a 45 minute session in the morning working on a few different difficult sections.  After attending to other matters I returned to run the set before dinner.  I was tired, physically and mentally, and did not feel like playing.  Perfect I heard myself saying.  Quite likely the state I'll be in for the gig Saturday night.  Not that I normally project negative expectations, but I'll have to attend a funeral on Saturday that's an hour's drive away.  The physical, emotional, and mental toll of this is unforeseen.

But back to habit sneaking in when the guard is down.  I've been doing some Alexander Technique work with how I use my hands with great success this week.  But this evening I found myself, having a harder time to direct my thinking between pieces.  Again probably not unlike a state I could find myself in on stage.  In performance there are so many unknowns that arise in a venue. How I respond to these variables impact everything.  We prepare, we show up, and we play.  The fact that I noticed at all how I was using myself tonight merely needs to be amplified. And it will be. Constantly.

The Way to Freedom

To paraphrase the Venerable Thich Nhat Hahn - there is no way to freedom, freedom is the way.
As I journaled this morning, looking forward to my guitar practice on this day, the above came to me.  How best to prepare for the gig on Saturday?  Practice skillfully.  Act from principles.  Make decisions on what best serves the music, not my ego. Allow the Alexander Technique to direct my thinking in regard to movement, through movement, and perhaps into new relationships with myself, the guitar and maybe even music.  May I play this day with the same care and attention that I play a melody. 

Letting Go

Gearing up for a gig this coming Saturday.  Perhaps I should change my thinking to letting go for a gig coming up this Saturday.

Working on Turning the Wheel.  The second and fourth fingers are anchored to the fretboard through out this piece.  Subsequently tension and fatigue have been an issue while playing it.  It's a great piece with an intriguing rhythm in seven, but this evening while practicing I decided that perhaps I'll drop it from Saturday's Set list at Electric Maid.  Keep working with the piece, but not push too hard if the left hand continues to struggle.  I also decided to perform seated.  I go back & forth between sitting and standing as both have their advantages, but for this gig take my stool.  But for now let go to the seated position where I do not get as distracted.

Then I went to an Alexander Technique class with David Jernigan and 3 other students who are also musicians.  Towards the end of the class David asked if I wanted to play and I choose to play Turning the Wheel to investigate how my AT work would impact the playing.  Having been in the presence of people practicing AT for close to 90 minutes at this point, I had been directing my thinking actively for much of this time.  I was present and relatively free.  I've been working with how I bring my hands to the guitar in a different way since Sunday, leading with the little finger. (More on this in a post soon.)  Being aware of the stimulus of performing for people who are actually listening, I let go of my unnecessary concerns and played. There was more freedom and perhaps even musicality than any time I have played this piece including in my practice room.

What else can I let go of? 

Photo by Fe Langdon

Question

:

                                                                           

                           ; where were you when it happened?





Photo by Barry Stock.

Opening

Opening my case I embrace possibility.

Respecting the fragility of my connection to the Creative, I vow to work to stay awake while being gentle with my lapses.

I reach for my guitar with love, hoping love will follow and flow through us.

Am I open to the way of Mastery?  One note, one phrase, one transformation at a time?

Photo by Sonny Abesamis.

The Doors Between

In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between, there are doors. ~ William Blake (1757-1827)


Sometimes I must ask, where are those doors Mr. Blake? Where is the path leading to the door?  What does it take to open a door?  To walk through?

Each day I must begin again.  Step out onto the path of life journeying through well used known doors; unknown doors and perhaps the trickiest ones - the doors I do not see.  Thus I sit and do nothing to begin the journey of the new day.  Cultivating awareness that I know I will be distracted from, yet without the cultivation process where would I be?  Thrown up against a door I am not interested in?  Pushed through an unwanted door once again by habit & misguided desires?  Splintering the door of peace by bashing my mind against another?

Yes do nothing.  Ask the Universe for guidance and direction.  Pause, asking again, as often as I remember.  I am grateful for those who remind of the path, that remind me of the doors, that point the way.  I recall a line from a poem I wrote years ago - Where is the door which shelters silence?

Photo by Darwin Bell

Getting Unstuck

Answers will come through the guitar.  Guitar Craft Aphorism

Esoteric reflection or practical knowledge? Both?

When my friend Tom first shared this with me on my first Guitar Craft course the sensibility resonated within.  For years I loved this aphorism for the hidden meaning that whispered to me. And I still do.  Now I also see the practical utility that took me much longer to truly recognize and that I need to relearn regularly.  Answers will come about my personal state, my degree of knowing and understanding of a piece or music in general, and about the discipline I possess to address these.

Where am I?  What am I thinking?  Am I aware of my thinking or lost in the chatter of a runaway mind?  How am I using my body?  Am I aware of my body?  My emotional state?  Do I want to do the work to get unstuck?  Do I just want to have my stuckness go away? (It won't!)

The Dhammapada tells me that all problems arise in the mind.  So I sit.  I breathe.  I observe the mind, maybe even allow the mind to calm.  Perhaps I'll sow new seeds for the mind to work with.  I'll observe my body.  Tense?  Overwhelmed? Am I out of touch with my body?  Again I breath and observe.  Then I observe my feelings.  Expectations.  I follow this with touching what is important,  perhaps remembering that I am alive, that I am loved.  I find it best to practice meditation early in the morning before the challenges of the day begin, but pausing during the day is also generally needed.  Pausing to connect via the breath also enhances an otherwise wonderful day or experience, keeping the flow of energy moving in a direction I might choose.  While meditation will address my physical, mental or spiritual stuckness, there are other practices that fine tune the physical/mental connection for me.

For additional help with getting unstuck in the body I practice Qi Gong and the Alexander Technique.  Qi Gong is meditation in movement specifically designed to free and enhance our Qi or life energy.  My practice of Qi Gong has freed up blockages stemming from the demands of 50 plus years on the planet.  The Alexander Technique(AT)  is a subtle but powerful way of raising awareness of how I move.  An AT lie down, effectively and efficiently relaxes my body and realigns me to begin again.  Both address my habitual way of doing.

Both Qi Gong and AT address our thinking in motion, as does playing an instrument.  Is my body, mind and feelings attuned to the music I am playing.  The answers will come through the guitar?

Photo by Khairil Faizi.

If you live in the Takoma Park, MD area and are interested in learning about the Alexander Technique check out David Jernigan  or for experience with Qi Gong, Joann & I will be leading a class at the Takoma Park Community Center beginning 1/28/15.  Go to this link and then search Qi Gong.

Little Directions

Tuesday night I was able to rejoin the Alexander Technique class with David Jernigan and others after an absence due to participating with The Field and then traveling.  Another student who has been working with AT for a few years now brought up a practice that he, David and I undertook 18 months ago.  For the first 5 minutes of our day we would work with AT.  For me this took the form of sitting on the side of the bed and thinking through the AT directions.  Three minutes into this practice today, I noticed my right shoulder & arm just let go. Just a little shift, but merely through offering thoughts of direction to my body Was the shift due to something held in my sleeping posture or just a habitual manner of my overall use?

Moving to the kitchen to make coffee, I again directed my thinking via AT.  Appeared so easy when not encumbered with the concerns and actions of my day.  The term "little directions" arose at this time.  Little as in a brief time to apply the technique in the mundane activities of life.  Seems I can find freedom in my use a bit easier than when guitar in hand I aim to make music.  The actions of playing an instrument are certainly more complex than sitting or standing and there is the emotional concern of how do I sound or why am I not making progress with this musical section.  One premise of AT is that how we do one thing is how we do everything.  Hence freedom in a simple act interpenetrates the more complex actions we undertake.  And merely by a little thought, a little direction before moving.

Later in the day as I moved to my guitar practice, I paused and directed again before opening my case.  My wish was to open my case to freedom and allow this to inform my playing.  As I worked on a few different parts from various pieces I was patient, pausing to direct frequently.  With this heightened awareness I saw that I was trying to help my hands rather than allow them to execute the musical phrases.  Helping took the form of leaning into a phrase with  my upper body; tightening my right thigh or gripping the floor with my feet.  Get out of the way, but how?  Little directions - forward   up   long   wide   . Direct out of the way; away from habit and pause again.  Direct my way to freedom a little bit at a time.  Smiling as I see a habit of holding onto life when I need to let go to life freeing up just a little.


Photo by Fiona McAllister

Ear Training for Music and Life

Listening - one key to musicianship and to survival in life.  For musicians there are a variety of ear training programs available to develop this skill.  Processes to develop our listening in life are a bit more elusive and perhaps a bit more difficult to implement when found.

I can listen and learn to identify tones and intervals on my guitar or a piano in a practice studio.  The stakes here are practically nonexistent. But how to practice deep listening with a loved one?  How to listen when another person is distressed?  As our world becomes smaller and full of people who absolutely know that they are right - can I listen to them? Will I listen to them?  Can I listen to the dissonant and complex harmonies of clashing cultural, religious and political storms?  Can I hear in my heart and soul that we all want and need to be heard?  Especially those I dislike?  Those that offend me?  Those I do not understand?

I can hear the urgency of the cry of a loved one in distress, but what about their more subtle and nuanced tones?  When I hear fear, will I resolve it's jagged melody?  Allow the driven tempo of anger to come to rest?  To resolution?  What do I hear in silence?  Effective listening requires practice.  Practice quieting my mind; quieting my feelings.  Practice building awareness of where I am here and now.  Practice, discipline, practice. Very similar to learning an instrument - the voice of love.  Dare I listen as if the world depended on it?  The practice begins - Now!

Let my being
Intently focus on
Speech
Tone
Emotion
Now

After writing this much I was not sure this post was complete.  Time to pick up my guitar I reasoned.  Listen to her and see if any answers or clarity arrived.  Before entering my practice space, I paused, connected with my intention and  myself.  Freedom in playing was my intention.  A few minutes into running through my second piece, Turning the Wheel,  I noticed an internal dialogue was underway.  I paused to quiet, good to listen to myself I reasoned.  Freedom may very well begin in the mind.  After quieting my mind I resumed playing the piece.  After working with a transition, I moved on to an improvisation.  Simple and beautiful.  Then another improvisation which became complicated, judgement arose in my mind.  Can I listen to my improvisations without judgement?  Can I listen to another person without judgement?  Ah the work never ends.

Photo by Tinu

Wrong Beginnings

Is the wrong beginning a tragedy?  At least a process has begun.  One can erase words, lines or drop melodies; but to begin a new process one risks failure.  Bravo!  From failure comings learning, at least most of the time.  Sometimes all of the available options, strategies, concepts are too daunting. For me a wrong beginning is better than no beginning.  Mind you this is not to dismiss qualitative endeavors nor intentional actions.  I'm talking about that leap into the unknown.  How to get there?  

Physics tells us that an object at rest tends to remain at rest.  Overcoming inertia requires force.  The good news is that physics also tells us that an object in motion tends to remain in motion.  This is the good news about making a wrong beginning.  At least I am in motion, and once in motion progress happens. 

In my morning practice I had an idea of what I wanted to accomplish, but first how to warm up?  I returned to the first note of the year, a Bb.  Beginning with long notes, I attacked this Bb in various ways.  Then I added a Db, and a melody began to emerge, one reminiscent of a piece that is unfinished from the past.  I made a note to find that score and work with what's there.  From here I moved onto reviewing five pieces to see where they need work.

When I'm not sure where to begin or how, I find a note, a phrase, or a chord. Pushing off from the shore of uncertainty, I question what I find and play around with the answer. A step, even the wrong step begins to clarify the process.  One choice down, infinity to go. 

Photo by h.koopdelaney.

Structuring the Music of Life

Structure was the frequently word used by recent retirees I talked with in the past 2 years as I contemplated this decision for myself.  There were other words and notions, but this one both attracted and concerned me.  After all I was used to structuring my professional day and to optimize my free time to devote to music, family, & friends.  But what happens when the entire week is mine to do with as I wish?

The first six month period has passed with great fun with family, learning about music, poetry, the Alexander Technique, performance and life itself.  More time developing my meditation practice, our Qi Gong practice and long walks.  Major family obligations & vacations met and more to follow.  But now what does the next six month period hold?

The foundation practices of meditation & Qi Gong frame my day, weeks, and life. Reading, learning, and experiences will continue to inform and develop. Going back to a family discussion we had on New Years Eve, I did hear myself answer a 'what's next' query with time to record again. When, how and with whom to undertake this remains to be determined but now I have stated my intention to  proceed.  Now I can structure my musical practices to address the level of execution to effectively record the pieces to be chosen.  I will remain open to compositional opportunities as they arise.  Mornings are my most productive times so these will be given to music practice within the already established framework that sustains and nourishes my life.

Transitions

Adjusting to winter on the East Coast of the US from the tropical paradise where we lived for 5 weeks has been challenging.  Sleep cycles have been disturbed and my energy notches down from where it had been.  I miss practicing Qi Gong at dawn on the shores of the Andaman Sea and today I woke up to cold and rain.

The good news is I picked up my Breedlove Guitar from my friend who was storing it during my absence yesterday.  I played her today and with the first note, knew why I love this guitar so much.  It took me over a week to adjust to playing my Ovation during our trip.  No adjustment at all to the Breedlove.  To hear that rich tone again, to move with ease about the neck is just heavenly.

After playing I took a long walk along Sligo Creek before the sunset.  Slowly my body is reviving. Now back to that Breedlove.

Photo by h.koopdelaneyhttps://www.flickr.com/photos/h-k-d/

What is the Sound of My Thoughts?

What is the sound of my thoughts?

Are they harmonious?

Do they serve me?  Serve the Whole?

Are they fixed? Open?

How often do I observe them?  Quiet them down and reflect on my thoughts?

What is the sound of a thought of another that I disagree with?

Why is the sound of my judgements so harsh?

Do I have a choice in the timbre of my thinking?

Can I choose a new scale of thoughts?

Can I change my thoughts as easily and regularly as I change my strings?

What thoughts resonate in the forgotten corners of my mind?  Those thoughts that are so 'me' as to be fixed?  Will I soften the tone of these thoughts? Any thoughts?

Can I practice new thoughts?  Will I?

When feelings flare can I question the playing of my thoughts?  Introduce a decrescendo?  Slow my tempo to observe my practice of this particular dissonant melody?

What is the sound of freedom within my thoughts?

Will I put more rests in the playing of my thoughts?


Photo by Dee Ashley.

Music for Airplanes

A brief moment of quiet at the busy gate in Doha's Hameed International Airport.

So many thoughts, impressions these past couple days. Love flows.

Slept a bit on the flight from Kuala L to Doha. When coherent enough I practiced meditation until breakfast arrived.  Then I journaled about where I am, where I've been and where I might be.  A very rich morning within the plane.  With about an hour to go on the flight I decided to check out the in-flight audio offerings.  Though I tend not to listen to rock nor pop music in my early morning hours this was not quite morning and the "best of" classical music offerings did not hold interest.  

My iPod or the best of 1967?  Getting Better All the Time led the parade, moving onto Light my Fire and Let's Spend the Night Together?  Hormonal music from the time of my youth.  Energy shifting, neither good nor bad, just shifting.  What was the sound of that young man's heart as he entered his teen years?  

As I looked out the window I saw the sunrise over the Middle East.  Right on cue, the Byrds I Can See For Miles came on.  I could not have planned this. What does the sun rise sound like I wondered?  That great ball of energy that sustains our planet in a dynamic state that is astounding yet we hear nothing.  No bird song nor surf sounds today, just Mick Jagger blasting my ears in Jumpin' Jack Flash as I switched to the best of 1968.

Suddenly that riff that so captivated me as a young man arose in my ears - Pictures of Matchstick Men.  When was the last time I heard this.  Smiling, even chuckling as I listened.  Some how I knew that Tommy James & the Shondell's could not be far behind.  Contemplating the beautiful horizon of shifting tones & colors, I listened & pondered my life, our life.  Right on cue Mony Mony arrived and I was transported to Breezy Point on the Chesapeake Bay where our Church beach picnics were held.  I could see the older teens dancing to this tune, my sister amongst them.  Recalling the kegs of root beer next next to the regular keg beer and all of us being served in mugs.  The power of music to recall memories astounds me. 

While I still have an even longer flight from Doha to DC ahead of me, I'm ready for this ride to continue.  Tom Jone's Delilah blasts through the head phones as the pilot begins our descent.  The colors of sunrise so dazzling as my heart dances with joy.  My energy spikes a bit more as The Mighty Quinn by Manfred Mann arises within and without.  What was it about these lyrics that so had me in my youth?  One last glimpse of the colors of the horizon as the plane banks.  Do clouds hear I wonder?   I could not have scripted A Wonderful World by Louie Armstrong being sung as the wheels touched down on our Earth.  Truly what a wonderful world we live in, made more so by the power of music.

Photo by Andreas.

Answers

Silence offers us the answers. -  From The Promise of a New Day

What do I offer Silence?  

Do I make myself available?  

Can I, will I listen if one arrives?

Photo by Sai Goey.

Leaving Sounds

Years ago when ready to depart from family in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, a piece arrived titled Leaving Song.  Somewhere this is saved and perhaps I'll work with it when I return home.  After 5 weeks with loved ones, on the beautiful coast of the Andaman Sea it is time for us to depart.  I began this day listening to the sounds around me and throughout this day I've been hearing sounds within me.

Sometimes a sigh can hold the depths of dissonance and harmony, discord & peace, in a single sound.  What is the sound of a shadow descending?  What is the sound of hearts parting?  What is the sound of memories moving to love?  Yes life goes on.   Robert Frost said "I have miles to go before I sleep."  Good to feel the feelings, express them as able, and hold dear to the moment.

When practicing guitar today, was there an added depth of emotion to my playing or merely the emotion so close to the surface that I felt it made the playing better?  I do not know.  Life is change.  I am ever so grateful for this life.

Morning Sounds

The morning surf pounds the shoreline as the wind ruffles the curtains.  Sounds of life before the dawn.  From within the darkness, the Call to Prayer blends with the surf, urging us to wake up.  Though this is not my Call, it still awakens me.  A reminder to serve what is good, what is right.  The muezzin's voice carrying us beyond this moment to what could be.

The shuffle of feet of a loved one in the kitchen tending to coffee, while the surf incessantly sings through the night air.  No wave sounds the same.  Today the whoosh of a jet will carry us half way around the world to our home.  Leaving behind the surf and the warmth of loved ones.  The echoes of laughter, love, and joy will remain in our hearts.  The waves of wonder & delight will live on in our being.  I must be still for another moment, listen deeply; love.

Photo by Dai Luo

Be Effective

Be effective, not efficient.  Recently I found this gem in Tim Ferris's The 4-Hour Workweek, Expanded and Updated: Expanded and Updated, With Over 100 New Pages of Cutting-Edge Content.  Efficiency has always been high up on my list, but when does this get in my way?  Perhaps have me doing either unnecessary work as as in Ferris's view or moving through something too quickly.  In an effort to add stress to my playing of a new piece, I decided to video myself while playing. A simple way to ratchet my awareness a bit and also good practice for dealing with the randomness that life often presents.  Fortunately a happy accident arrived and I had it captured on my iPad.

A melodic line I've not been totally satisfied with revealed herself to me during this play through.  I played it a couple times and thought yes this is it.  Now I could move onto a different aspect of my practice, for after all if I forget I can refer back to the video.  Which I can, but then what if I forget I captured it or make space by deleting it.  Plus if I notate it, I'll put it into long term memory in another way, thus strengthening my memory of the line.  Yet I wanted to move on.  Then I heard myself questioning what would be most effective for the long term.  A few minutes later I had the line notated and the idea for this blog post.  New connections arriving and being digested.  Now back to practice.

With

With hope I begin again.

With help I see my ignorance.

With music I feed hope and love within me, maybe even in the world.

With courage I drop into the unknown, searching for a new melody or idea.  Knowing most times I do not find; but the seeking is enough.

With love I find strength to continue.

With the breath I find life.  Begin to understand life.  Water that which is good within me.

With faith, I vow to begin again and again.

Photo by Thinboyfatter.

Structure of Alexander Technique

                                                 pauSe
                                              inhibiT
                                                    diRect
                                                   unDo
                                                   caUses
                                                   diRect
                                                      Until
                                                     fRee
                                                    nEck



photo by Howard

Alternate Possibilites

What holds me back from being open to alternative ideas or possibilities?

Ignorance manifesting as lack of knowledge is one aspect which can be remedied with practical study.  Lack of technique in executing what can be heard requires exercise.  But when ignorance arises in the form of a fixed view this presents a different degree of difficulty.  One that requires probing and openness within.  How to listen for the unheard note, the one that lies beyond my prejudice?  This form of ignorance has ramifications which also manifest in the rest of life, perhaps this is part of the difficulty of working with fixed views.

Years ago in a conversation with a friend and playwright Nicole Burton, she told me that when she is stuck she works to take a scene in three different directions.  Not an easy task for me when I'm not sure where a piece wants to go next, but I work to remain open to this possibility.  Even if I do not resolve the current issue, by working with alternate possibilities, I learn.  Fruits of this learning nourish future endeavors and unknown connections are being made.  Vocabulary & technique are extended & developed, while the relationship with the muse is deepened.

Photo by Elliot Brown.

A Choice Not to Practice

A day without any guitar, but one filled with the music of life.  Laughter, amazement, and understanding blossoming in a day full of family adventure.  From Chinese carvings  and drawings to a toy museum, street art and good food, all with those that mean the most to me.  Working on harmony within and among the form of family.  Developing this harmony and sharing our melodies with the community. 

I thought of the guitar, music, and even directed via the Alexander Technique a few times.  But my choice was to be with those that matter.  As a wise man said "for everything there is a season."  By developing love,  music is impacted, always.  What greater gift does any of us have?

Feedback

Feedback.  How valuable when one can get honest feedback. Not I like or dislike something, but what happened within the recipient?  Today my wife provided this for me.  I've been playing around with an idea for the past 2 weeks.  An opening arrived that I could not develop.  Then a couple days later another idea arrived that also stagnated.  After a week, I was drifting away from them when I saw they were related.  Combining them a form began to emerge along with energy to keep investigating.

The form is a bit nebulous but I do have a title.  The title actually triggered the idea, but am I finding, defining, and elaborating this within the energy of notes?  I did not share the title with Joann as I wanted too see if the music was carrying the sentiment.  She gave me feedback pointing towards the intent and then I played it again.  Is this a piece or just an idea?

That she could not answer, my work lies within that question.  Her feedback did give me information that this work in progress is conveying the sense of the piece and that I should continue to develop it.

Photo by Jurgen Appelo.

My Favorite Sounds

My wife's tender voice.

Our granddaughter's delight & wit.

Jimi

Summer song birds in morning.

The surf, streams, rivers, & waterfalls.

Summer insects at night.

Snow falling on a winter's night.  (Especially now that I'm retired.)

Laughter, especially the laughter of family together.

Rain.

Bells.

Be the Craft

I sat with my guitar this morning for a few minute before playing.  Connecting with myself via the Alexander Technique directions; finding my breath and my wish. I recalled a statement made by Sister Jewel in a Dharma Talk she gave at the Washington Mindfulness Community last year.  She was struggling with a close relationship, wanting to help, when she saw that she needed to be a Buddha, not a Buddhist.

Holding that thought for a moment I began to play.  Alert, relaxed, and present, when the thought arrived - Be the Craft, not a Craftie.  This carried me through a short but spirited practice session and a bit of a breakthrough with a new piece that is developing.  Then I returned to rest, allowing the melodic idea to percolate.

During this session I taped two versions of this new adaptation of The Choice.  Generally I'll do this to save an idea, in case I need to refer to it later.  I tend not to listen to these early versions as frequently the unsure execution  can take me out of the music.  Judging the music unfairly.. Today, perhaps as part of trusting The Craft, I did listen to the recording away from the guitar.  And yes, the execution needs work, but the sense of the music is there and I heard a possible ending that I may not have heard with guitar in hand.  Now I know where to begin my next practice.  Life is very good.



Photo by Barry Stock.

Lead With the Mind and Play

Still weak in my body from the bug I caught.  Good news is that the mind and emotions have been relatively still today.  This actually is a good place to play from, though the body is a bit dull thoughts and feelings were not providing obstacles to work through.  Perhaps the mind was focused on my healing. Most of the day I've been resting and reading The Gift of Rain by Tan Twan Eng, a beautifully written novel.  The main character Philip Hutton practices martial arts and zazen so there is a quality about his training that resonates with me.  providing another reminder to practice with what is in front of me.

Twice I have picked up my guitar today.  The first time after a nap and feeling yucky I began to play and listen to a single note.  I do this often, as a way to focus my listening, and to wake up. Then I began an improvisation that quickly turned into noodling.  Yet the noodling was joyful so I continued.  No seriousness was needed at this moment of time.  Probably never is needed, but certainly not now.  A few surprises inspired me during this noodling, as years of practicing various exercises sometimes come together providing nourishment for future hours of work.

The second time, I was more mindful of my approach.  I knew when I picked up my case and placed it on the bed.  I was aware of lifting her from the case.  We sat together for a few minutes before I played. Lead with the mind was the phrase spoken by Philip Hutton's sensai in the novel that then led me.  I played, just played a piece inspired by my brother.  Noticing I was in a special place, I played another piece.  I repeated one of the lines a few times in this piece as it needed to be refreshed.

Before beginning another piece I recalled an instruction given by Robert on a course once Play like the world depended on it! And so I did.

The First Note Calling to Me

As you start to walk on the way, the way appears. ~Rumi

Tired after being out most of the day and feeling a cold coming on.  I needed to pick up my guitar as I did not play yesterday.  After having soup for dinner, I thought about where to begin the session.  I was clueless as a big part of me just wanted to go back to reading a novel. Then I thought about my first note of 2015 - Bb.  What might the  Bb reveal to me on this evening?  Might I explore brave new sonic material? 

I decided to drop the grandiosity and pick up the guitar.  And I'm happy I did.  I played with just a Bb, on different areas of the fretboard, then began to improvise with Bb as a tonal center.  Not much of interest was happening but as least I was caressing those strings.  I began playing through The Call, and then returned to Bb for some reason.  A melody of interest tinkled out and I began to develop this.  This spark of the creative spirit lifted my mood as I continued to explore possibilities.  I could have taken it further, but really do need to rest.  Trusting that that more shall be revealed.

Photo by Nelson L.

Wherein lies the balance?

Dissonance.

Consonance.

Wherein lies the balance?

When dissonance overwhelms, sometimes one must retreat.  When silence is elusive, music is one bridge back.  The voices of the past can heal the present, providing connection and hope to traditions of the ancestors, to the unknown power.  Providing connection to what is. 

Years ago,  a person  very dear to me gave me a copy of Angus Dei,  collection of choral music from the Mass.  A connection to my ancestor's search for meaning in life.  At this time of the year when the loss of the members of my immediate family sometimes becomes acute, I need to hear these voices soaring in praise of God, inspiring hope and peace in the here and now.

Photo by Procsilas Moscas

Hiding From Commitment

During an incredibly wonderful dinner with family on New Years Eve we discussed hopes and aspirations for the coming year.  Not quite resolutions, but in the spirit of positive projections and possibilities.  On New Years day this thought arose within me - to publish this blog daily for the New Year.

Recognition of the rightness of this arose & resonated within. Just behind this the resistance began to formulate and excitement about the challenge blends with fear of failure.  But as I know, truly in my heart and mind, possibly even within my body, that with commitment all the rules change.

Resources, time, and material are available - I only need to make the commitment to myself.  What will I learn from this?  What will I miss if I do not? 

Photo by Tj Matthews