Arriving, Leaving and Coming Back

In the practice handed down to me by Thich Nhat Hahn there is a gatha  for meditation:

Breathing In - I have arrived, breathing  out - I am home. 

Because Thay knows we become habituated in our thoughts, words, and actions a couple years ago he changed this to I have truly arrived, I am really home.  How many times a day do I need to come back and find the present moment, only to begin leaving life again by having my attention to my breath, my body or the action I am undertaking waver?

Fortunately I find my way back again, but for how long have I left?  Arriving again, how is it that I miss the leaving?  I must admit there are times when I notice that I'm leaving the present and go about my merry way anyhow.  It really does take a whole village to raise a child and it take a whole Sangha to guide me, strengthen me, and inspire me to come back.   To be right here, right now, truly present is a miracle.

The very miracle of life.

Photo by Sunlight Cardigan

Seek Freedom

A friend sent me an email today with the thought "We can choose our freedom." Can I?  Will I?  Going against habit is a continuous struggle.  Neuronal pathways polished by years or decades of poor choices, lack of knowledge, or misguided beliefs are still slick for the using.  As we make new choices, presumably better ones, to build more effective habits new pathways are forged.  Where do these pathways lie within our brains, nerve circuits and muscles?  How easily in a moment of inattention do we slip back into the old choice or habit?

When the emotions kick in mental clarity is muddied, somatic memories are invigorated and a subtle desperation to act is aroused.  Sometimes even to just get it over with. 

Meditation exercises the muscle of attention while slowing down the random chatter of the mind.  As the thinking stills, choice becomes possible.  Much better to pause, to think new thoughts, release the emotional energy and wait for clarity.  Rather than occupy our  ghost towns of the past,  choose to seek freedom.  As one good book has stated "seek and ye shall find."



Photo by Bureau of Land Management

eliminART

Art is the elimination of the unnecessary Pablo Picasso

 

Release the "r" from "Art" and you have AT or Alexander Technique,

which is central to the "art" of movement.

 

Eliminate extra mental chatter and you have  meditation,

which is central to the art of living.

 

Elimination leads to mastery.

 

How many notes do I discard to create a piece of music that moves me and maybe even others?  

 

How much tension needs to be released in my spinal cord to allow for an effective use of myself?  

 

To allow for an energy flow that enlivens all of me?

 

 How much study do I need to recognize the unnecessary?

                                                     Effectively

                                                   reLease

                                                  noIse

                                                     Misunderstanding and

                                                      Instigate

                                                      Nuanced

                                                      Aggregates of

                                                      Truth

                                                    bEauty

 

 

Photo by Art Happens Here

The Pause That Delivers

Whether at the beginning of or in the midst of an activity, to pause and consider your actions requires a choice.  To choose to pause and direct our thinking with the Alexander Technique or to follow our breath introduces freedom and change.  Our energy shifts as does our relationship within and to the space around us.  If we are interacting with others, we are now more fully engaged, alert, and aware.

Why then does the act of pausing require so much discipline?  Habit, habits and more habit is the quick answer.  Over decades I have developed the habit of pausing and my relationships to myself, the guitar, and to others has shown improvement.  For this I am truly grateful.  So I continue to instill the discipline of pausing to foster my development.  What has been delivered far outweighs the occasional agony of "what again?" that sometimes arises within.  Pause right now, before you surf off.  Connect with your body, your thinking, perhaps even your heart.  Consider your aim.  How does it feel to be alive?

Photo by Anders Sandberg

Idea Flowing After Day of Rest

Awoke refreshed and raring to go this month.  After our morning practice I enjoyed breakfast with my wife.  Moving into the practice room at 9:25 am I warmed up with playing the first piece Iever wrote and then improvised.  After 10 minutes of this I was ready to address a piece.  Deciding quickly to play through Senseless Loss I decided first to warm up a bit more in a way that would address playing this tremolo piece.  Immediately I heard something I liked and followed the path.


Fascinated with what was coming out, I began making some quick notes calling it Tremolo Study in Five.  As the idea progressed a working title of Delirium emerged.  Time will tell if this is the title, even if it is a finished piece.  Grateful for the spark though.  Perhaps I need to take a day like yesterday to rest, recharge, and reflect more often.

Photo by Adreson

Getting Unstuck

Answers will come through the guitar.  Guitar Craft Aphorism

Esoteric reflection or practical knowledge? Both?

When my friend Tom first shared this with me on my first Guitar Craft course the sensibility resonated within.  For years I loved this aphorism for the hidden meaning that whispered to me. And I still do.  Now I also see the practical utility that took me much longer to truly recognize and that I need to relearn regularly.  Answers will come about my personal state, my degree of knowing and understanding of a piece or music in general, and about the discipline I possess to address these.

Where am I?  What am I thinking?  Am I aware of my thinking or lost in the chatter of a runaway mind?  How am I using my body?  Am I aware of my body?  My emotional state?  Do I want to do the work to get unstuck?  Do I just want to have my stuckness go away? (It won't!)

The Dhammapada tells me that all problems arise in the mind.  So I sit.  I breathe.  I observe the mind, maybe even allow the mind to calm.  Perhaps I'll sow new seeds for the mind to work with.  I'll observe my body.  Tense?  Overwhelmed? Am I out of touch with my body?  Again I breath and observe.  Then I observe my feelings.  Expectations.  I follow this with touching what is important,  perhaps remembering that I am alive, that I am loved.  I find it best to practice meditation early in the morning before the challenges of the day begin, but pausing during the day is also generally needed.  Pausing to connect via the breath also enhances an otherwise wonderful day or experience, keeping the flow of energy moving in a direction I might choose.  While meditation will address my physical, mental or spiritual stuckness, there are other practices that fine tune the physical/mental connection for me.

For additional help with getting unstuck in the body I practice Qi Gong and the Alexander Technique.  Qi Gong is meditation in movement specifically designed to free and enhance our Qi or life energy.  My practice of Qi Gong has freed up blockages stemming from the demands of 50 plus years on the planet.  The Alexander Technique(AT)  is a subtle but powerful way of raising awareness of how I move.  An AT lie down, effectively and efficiently relaxes my body and realigns me to begin again.  Both address my habitual way of doing.

Both Qi Gong and AT address our thinking in motion, as does playing an instrument.  Is my body, mind and feelings attuned to the music I am playing.  The answers will come through the guitar?

Photo by Khairil Faizi.

If you live in the Takoma Park, MD area and are interested in learning about the Alexander Technique check out David Jernigan  or for experience with Qi Gong, Joann & I will be leading a class at the Takoma Park Community Center beginning 1/28/15.  Go to this link and then search Qi Gong.

Edges

Edges leading where?

Habit eddies? New choices?

Music Whispers by ...

A Reflection on Space

Before playing this evening I read Bill Plake's excellent blog on the Alexander Technique. This particular post was about having less tension as you play by thinking about your space.  Always a good focus for me.  Awareness of space allows me to move from compressing myself to one of expansion while I play.  Slowly through my work with AT, I have let go of unnecessary tension, only to find new muscular areas where I am holding on and tonight was no different.

As I was playing through a piece while singing it, I noticed tension in my right arm and thought of the space within the arm, the elbow, the shoulder.  With this added awareness, a slight release became noticeable in the sound of my guitar.  Those moments of incremental freedom in my use coming alive in the sound are always a bit startling and delightful.  When I was finished the piece I thought through the AT directions and returned to begin again.

Becoming aware of my breathing, I noticed the space within/around my rib cage.  This marvelous device which constantly interacts with my  environment without my needing to pay attention.  But when I do pay attention to my breath, something becomes available - life.  With continued practice through meditation of paying attention to my breath this has allowed the space within my heart to expand.  This expansion resulting in a softer more flexible person, open to self-reflection and letting go of the unneeded.  As with the small freedoms in AT, these changes have been slow, but the journey has shifted over time from one led by fear to one guided with love.  And it is within that space that Music lives.

Descending Clouds of Negativity

 


We begin again constantly is a Guitar Craft aphorism frequently mentioned i n this blog. For good reason I might add, as I find myself lost over and over, and need to reboot my awareness once again.  I have just began my practice session over two times, after my initial attempt.  Here I am now, looking to expunge the thinking matters that are clouding my mind, and embrace the simple act of playing.  Thoughts are similar to clouds in many respects.  Some are light and fluffy, moving through our minds offering happiness and joy.  Others dense, dark, and ominous; bringing storms of disruption and havoc to our being.  Depending on my condition at any time, when the various clouds of thoughts arrived, they may be supported, nurtured, or distorted.  The good news is - they all come to pass. 

While journaling this morning, I was still basking in the energy generated by my playing last night.  A couple constructive thoughts arrived.  One was to shorten the set to better fit my energy stamina.  Another to allow myself a bit more space within to breath, if I again sense my energy diminishing towards the end of the set.  I recall a bit of judgement arising with the thought of shortening the set.  Negative thinking creeping into an otherwise great experience.  I moved onto Qi Gong and meditation and then departed for work.

During my commute, I found myself thinking "don't play the set tonight, you know it will not be as good as last night."  The negative seed within me that judges myself and others was breaking through the soil of my mind and beginning to grow.  I tried to laugh this off, and thought of just working on the rough spots in my playing tonight and allowing the spark from last night to live a bit longer.  Then my thinking moved to "why not get the inevitable over with, have the bad practice and move on."  Fortunately I arrived at work and the demands of my professional responsibilities took over.

Before playing tonight, I sat for twenty minutes.  Letting my body relax, following my breath, and working to quiet the mind.  I needed this tonight, knowing from experience that I was scattered enough that my playing would suffer if I just dove in.  Reminding myself of my intention, I tuned my guitar.  As soon as I began to play the clouds of negative thought erupted.  I wanted to just play through them, but the thoughts impacted my playing which generated more thoughts, generally of a negative bent and so forth.   I let go, brought order to some papers and returned to the guitar.

More negative thoughts erupted as I began playing, this time my thinking going back to work today and judging what I failed to accomplish.  Walking away again, I returned to begin a third time to no avail.  Deciding that getting these thoughts out here and out of my magic magnifying mind, might offer the freedom I need to begin again and move forward with one more effort.  Time for a lie down and a new beginning. Trusting and knowing that this is all part of the process, I smile.

Is How What?

A new piece is emerging.  My work is to be open and allow the potential to be realized.  How to do this?  Actually the question I just asked may mean - what do I do?  One answer - return to the first practice I learned in Guitar Craft - Do Nothing.  Even after 22 years this remains difficult at the times that I most need to practice this?  Why? Attachment perhaps. Doubt.  Entrenched Habits.  Experiences from youth and beyond.

The working title is Remembrance. The Polish translation is Pamiętać.  What am I remembering?  Is this a form of honoring my actual and spiritual ancestors? Am I remembering to Do Nothing, as much as possible?   Oh my, I better get back to my guitar.

Remembrance

Awake at 5:10 am today.  Not an uncommon hour to me, I was rested and ready to begin my day.  The vestiges from a difficult emotional afternoon yesterday still resounding beneath the surface. After journaling, I began my meditation, but quickly realized I had a physical component that needed to be discharged or transformed.  I was waiting to do Qi Gong in case my wife awakened, but I knew I needed what this practice provides.  After 15 minutes of Qi Gong, I began my meditation again, eventually letting go of the negativity built up by my habit energies and finding peace and joy.

After a long professional day, I arrived home tired.  The week was done and after dinner and resting I would turn to my guitar.  But I found the tiredness was deeper than I realized and the desire to play was difficult to muster.  Yet I also knew I needed to play; to feel the vibrations; to listen to the notes.  Besides this coming Sunday I am to play a piece for an Evening of Remembrance with the Washington Mindfulness Community, and I have not decided what I'll play.

To the basement telling myself I only needed to play through the three pieces I am considering and perhaps determine which I'll play.  After playing one piece, I began improvising with an idea that surfaced last night. The spark was there and I began to follow.  My body and my spirits revived as music whispered as.  Finding two stretches for my left hand to be difficult as I was not warmed up, I paused and directed via AT.  Finding my shoulders and my back, releasing my neck and simply breathing with the memory of what I had played.  Proceeding slowly in this manner, holding the energy of excitement with what I was playing and inhibiting the desire to end gain by pushing my left hand.  Wondering what this piece was about - someone from my past?  A sense of loss was present in the notes.  Playing and pausing; breathing and inhibiting, I noticed I was coming alive again.  I sensed that perhaps what was coming out was related to my lost youth. The young man who wanted to play music but became lost and dispersed.

Should I notate, record or do a lie down I found myself thinking.  Then I moved to the floor, my body grateful for the rest.  Enjoying the release that the lie down offers, I knew could go to bed right then and there if I allowed myself.  I also knew that music was courting me, and if I took care of myself when I returned to the guitar something might arrive.

Noticing how beautiful my guitar as I paused before picking her up.  Gently playing the introduction, and venturing forth,  I found a loud chord resounding beneath my fingers.  Following with my heart and ears a beautiful section arrived.  Taking in the room, smiling to days gone by, I continued to explore and to pause and come back home.  Trusting that the music is in my ear enough to return to tomorrow, I decided to tend to the blog. My perceptions of events skews easily as time passes.  Happy that I picked up my guitar and made myself available.  Now it is time to rest.

Photo by Barry Stock.

A Simple Truth

The more mindful I am of my body, the easier it is to be mindful of my body. As I establish mindfulness of my body, my mind quiets; which makes it easier to be mindful of my body. With this increased awareness, playing the guitar becomes joyful. Very simple; very powerful; all you need to do is practice following your breath and during the in-breath be aware of your whole body. Then during the out-breath again be aware of your whole body. Once this is established during the in-breath release the tension in your whole body and again during the out-breath release the tension of your whole body. Two very simple, complete, and powerful exercises.

Recently, while practicing in this way I noticed that this awareness supports the Alexander Technique directions and allows myself to lengthen and widen. The lengthening and widening through AT, supports the release of tension throughout my psycho-physical system. AT is a mindfulness of the body practice that has impacted me tremendously. Establishing the mindfulness of the body by observing the breath and using gathas has been taught since the time of the Buddha. Both are powerful and are mutually supportive. Both can be practiced anywhere, with any activity. Grateful I have been exposed to both and shown how to practice.

Choices

From the opening lines of the first chapter of the Dhammapada on Choices:

We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make the world.


How many times have I read these lines, contemplated there truth, and worked to transform my thinking?  But first I must become aware of my thinking, perhaps even become aware that I am alive.  How to train the thinking?  How to train awareness? By daily diligent practice aided with the support of a community.  Wise instruction from one who has journeyed the path provides direction and then some.  Time passes and awareness deepens, and then is lost.  The mind is fleeting - attention directed, then distracted; pulled away and then hopefully returned.

I follow my breath, planting seeds with my thinking.  Habits transmitted to me and honed finer, begin to loose their edge.  Patterns of thinking and acting that I developed as my response to the world are slowly revealed, slowly replaced.  But their energy is strong, watered by years and even lifetimes of use.  Before I am aware, I am once again locked in habit, without a choice.  But then I become aware of my thinking, aware of my actions, maybe even aware of my state.  A choice becomes possible.  Do I direct my thinking, raising my awareness and tasting freedom?  Am I alive?  Am I breathing?  Am I aware of the energy of life within me and around me?

We begin again constantly - when we are fortunate, when we are devoted to waking up to life.  Replacing inherited thoughts, adopted thoughts, and the thinking of others & society to which we are  constantly exposed is a brave choice. A necessary choice.  We are what we think.  I'm not sure I even like the notion as it places the burden of responsibility so squarely on me.

Yet I have proof.  Years of meditation, observing my breath and my thoughts.  Hours and hours of planting new seeds in my consciousness with the aid of meditation practices.  Directing my thinking with the Alexander Technique and dissolving pain and discomfort that haunted me for years.   With our thoughts we make the world.  Be still and listen to your mind.  Choose carefully upon what you think, foster freedom in your thinking and without fear, go.