Sunday, July 21, 2013
Fortunately, hopelessness is not a large part of my experience in life. How can I touch this, embrace hopeless? Can I muster the vocabulary that while the music cannot state hopeless explicitly, invite the listener to dwell with the experience? What am I getting myself into? Peering through the language glass can I detect and transmit the nuances approaching hopelessness. Doubt or fear of failure tells me to back off. But I know this is where my musical and perhaps even personal growth dwells for today.
With doubt in hand and the question of what does hopeless sound like within my heart I begin to play. As I listen, while I'm not sure how these chords and notes might relate to another, I trust what I hear and continue to play, develop, and follow.
This time I have space on my recorders SD card so I capture my explorations to be listened to as needed. I remind myself this is a process. I need to guide, allow and be with the process. Perhaps the music does not need to convey hopelessness, perhaps the music, regardless of the initial inspiration just needs to be heard.