Friday, December 13, 2013
Accepting What Comes II
I knew I would practice guitar, just not sure when nor what I would do. I even noticed a bit of resistance about practicing which is rare for me. What is going on I wondered? After another meditation and 15 minutes of Qi Gong I did sit down to practice. I recalled a blog post from 2010 titled Accepting What Comes which I reread this week. Three years later and I still do not have any formal composition process but I do have an inquiring and curious mind. One night while practicing this week, I began playing around with Scriabin's Prometheus Chord. I based this chord on "C" and found a potential introduction that did not go any further.
Tonight in the spirit of accepting what the muse had to offer, I decided to begin with this nugget from earlier this week and see what developed. After 25 minutes I was lost, nothing was emerging, and I found myself beginning to talk negatively to myself. While questioning my abilities and knowledge, I felt uneasy about continuing. I also noticed that this was an opportunity. I was already wandering about in the unknown, why pull back now, just stay with the process. Having exhausted what I knew, and what I had already experimented with I decided to continue.
And it got worse. Nothing was making sense, nothing developing, and the negativity was hovering nearby. Suddenly I craved playing a known piece of music. To hear what made sense and worked, to get a bit of joy from that. But why? Why abandon where I was? Acceptance was not part of this process. When I saw this, I took a few breaths and began again. What would happen if the chord was based on "G" I thought. As I played with this, a whisper of music emerged, building in strength and giving a lift to my will to continue. When my left hand tired I took a short break.
I returned and played with this more. Still not a piece, but by staying with the unknown; accepting my shortcomings and by practicing persistence something came alive. Was it music? Was it me? The door is open once again.