I wonder ...

I find myself saying " I wonder if ..." frequently of late. Perhaps this is what has lead to the Frames series to which was added Frame #7 on Friday and Frame #8 tonight. I heard the formulation of "I wonder" clearly tonight. I had 4 chords that I liked together, then in my mind "I wonder if" and I followed where that query led. At times I am hard on myself for certain areas of musical ignorance that I possess, yet in this ignorance, at times even innocence, I can allow myself to go places musically that a trained musician would not.

So I sit and wonder.

Photo by Pablo Mandel Circular Studio

. . . . . Five Approaches

Letting go ...
       
                  Allowing ...

                                        Watching . . .

                                                            Waiting   .   .   .

                                                                                Wondering.

Simplicity

Picked up The Art of Practicing by Madeline Bruser and opened to a chapter by this name. I knew I needed help this evening, so far the day had been tough & discouraging. As I approached my practice time I sat for a few minutes, connected with my body, watched my mind, & breathed softly. Happy to know that I had music to turn to.

I went through my ritual of opening my case. By the time I was embracing my guitar I was smiling, yet I knew that tonight needed to be simple. No great demands, perhaps play through some pieces and allow these melodies to sooth me, open me, even inspire me. After a few minutes of warm up improvisation, I began with Gathered Hearts, my focus less than I desired it to be. I began again, abadoning the tempo, listening to the notes, feeling them vibrate against my chest. I moved onto Livin' the Dream, addressed an issue in one section and realized I needed to file my left hand nails - again. Having strong nails that grow fast is a blessing,  but as with all of life maintenance  is required.

Back to Livin' the Dream, playing it gently. Acknowledging my departed friend Mark who it was written for, allowing the notes to wash over me. I then played the first piece that ever came through me, the title of which is the name of this blog. But that is a story for another time. While I was not prepared to move onto something new, I found myself playing some arpeggios I have recently found. One chord in a pattern of 5 + 6, then another chord played in two different patterns of 7. This rhythmic structure is different than my original conception, but I am exploring the possible. Tonight this felt right, maybe even more musical. Learning more and more to let go of the initial idea that has led me to an interesting place and to just dwell & develop the new space.

I worked with this for 15 minutes and wondered 'is this musical or am I just enjoying the challenge of playing this.' I noticed this years ago and this still surfaces. Nothing wrong whith extending my ability if that is all that comes from the pursuit. I added the next set of chords, played with these transitions for another 15 minutes. Then time for a break which I have spent typing.

Sing Beautifully

Yesterday I was a bit tense in the morning. My anger sparked twice but did not ignite. I knew I needed to breathe and see what was fueling the sparks. So easy to displace anger on the minor events of others. Finding the true cause(s) can be subtle. While breathing I remembered how happy I have been while the new pieces have been taking shape. I heard myself say I wish I was home working on one of my compositions.

And then the whisper that I was. I am always making music. At this particular instance I was composing my solo voice piece for "Friday Morning Work Song." Presto and agitito were the tempo markings, the notes staccato, improvised in a dire key.  All of which is wonderful if this is the music I wish to be 'singing.'

What is music? Notes organized in time is one view. A quality organized in sound. That gives me pause. What is this quality I was hinting at in my "vocal piece" and is this the music that would best serve life in this moment? Now I was moving my "musical piece" from an  improvisation to a composition. Not that one is inherently superior, just moving from a piece "composed' in the moment to one where the structure, timbre, and notes were being considered and reflected upon. The theme being reworked. Tempo slowing to largo, timbre shifting to tasto, melodies evolving sensitively. The intention to Sing Beautifully, to Sing Joyfully being formed. Acknowledging the seed of fear, but not nourishing it. Choosing instead to water the seeds of peace, joy, and wonder in me; in life. Grateful for the practice that sustains my song. Breathing in I step back into the stream of life, breathing out I smile. Composing life one breath at a time, when I remember.

Possible Rhythmic Streams

I had sent Stream Ohrstrom a message about the blog from December 2 mentioning our pursuit of 31. He read the posting played with his vibraphone and messaged me that a breakdown of 5+6+7+7+6 had a better flow for him. This coupled with some of my orginal chords in C phygrian from last night was my jumping off point for tonight. Always good to have that bridge between practices. I did enjoy how this felt and began a musical investigation using chords from C phygrian, C Lydian & F# minor. Was using 3 chords from each mode and could not quite find the third chord that worked.

My body tense and tired so I decided to take a walk. Moon was full last night but it was pouring down rain here. I was enjoying the moonlight and a sprinkling of Christmas lights when another possibilty to explore these relationships came to me. Good to move those muscles and relax, allowing different solutions to appear. Back home to give this a look and there is promise. But for tonight I need to let go, curl up with Dr. Faustus and get a good nights rest. The day job beckons to be busy tomorrow and the remainder of this month.

Dives and Leaps

                                          More of Frame # 6

Last night when updating this blog I gave in to my tiredness and did not elaborate on the genesis of Frame # 6. I made notes on the process this morning before leaving for work because it was interesting to me and could be useful to myself or others. I was sitting quietly for 15 minutes before playing last night, allowing the days events to fade and my mind to quiet. A thought arrived of using the low C as the basis for arpeggios again in a rhythm of 31. The divisions might be 7,7,7,7, & 3. The chords based on C Dorian, C Phrygian, C Lydian with an Bb & F#, & C Mixolydian. Not my usual way of investigating but a place to take a dive into and perhaps a leap from.

Picking up my guitar I found chords to make an initial representation of these mods of C and began playing. The arpeggios in 7 were musical but I could do nothing with the 3. I changed the arpeggios to be in 9 and investigated a pattern of 9,9, 9 & 4. The nines be subdivived as 4 & 5. Again musical but could not find a working solution. Having my attention sufficiently engaged now I abandoned the rhythmic framework and began to play.

I arrived in interesting musical areas based on the previous investigations. The search for musical patterns had pushed my brain and now led me into areas I otherwise would not have found. When I let go of my preconceived notions I was able to hear tonights whisper from the muse. I made notes on the piece, three rough takes and played it for my wife twice. When I was finished with my work for the evening I looked at a bookshelf and borrowed part of  a title as the working title for this piece - Taking the Veil.

And I still have the arpeggios in 9 to use as a diving board for another evening, perhaps right now.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/onkel_wart/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Frames #4, 5, and 6

                         Trust. What is trust? Is it learned? Earned?

Listening to an excerpt from Stones off of This Fragile Moment as I type. Toyah words juxtaposed on my own are generating interesting & fleeting thoughts. Should I keep this excerpt on repeat as I type? " It's a beautiful question ... but your answer is wrong ..."

Since playing the benefit Saturday night I have not played an established piece. On Sunday a new piece inspired by the notion of Frames that I have been holding came out. I was exhausted in Sunday and in this slowly paced piece just followed where the next note chose to be. Quick notation and a rough recording to mp3 to secure the idea.


Stream Ohrstrom and the Blue Dragon Band was the final act at the benefit on Saturday night. I met Stream in my early days of Guitar Craft when struggling with odd rythms. Tony Geballe suggested I get a set of Bongos to work on  rhythms so as to just focus on getting them down and not concerning myself with the challenges of playing the guitar. I went to HMT and Stream introduced me to the dumbek, a middle eastern goblet shape hand drum that I fell in love with. I played the thing in the car as my now wife drove to Baltimore to visit family. What a woman!

I took lessons with Stream for some time and enjoyed many musical moments with him alone and during the weekly Beat Jam that he still hosts on Friday nights. I recently reconnected with him in October and he recalled how my favorite rhythm then was a pattern of 31, with both of us playing it differently but syncing on the one.

On Monday evening when I sat to practice I again began investigating where the notes might take me. An arpeggio in seven appeared and was followed by one in six. Another one in seven and then I hit on the framework of 31. A structure of 7,6,7,6, 5. I played with this for the next hour and 45 minutes, not even stopping to get a drink of water. Something emerged. I can not play it yet so no rough take with the mp3 recorder. Thought I might work with it tonight but...

Another piece emerged. Quiet & mysterious. Notated and recorded and then played for Joann twice.

Where does music come from? Why does music come into being?  A recent conversation with Robert about performance had him telling me that music is always available. While I have heard this before I heard him differently this time. The challenge is for me to be available to music.  Can I trust music to be there? Yes. Can I be available?

I am not sure why the creative output this week. I suspect it has something to do with the focus of the past weeks preparing for the performance. For now I am just trusting the process. And returning to listen to Stone one more time ...

Photo Credit: Ignacio Gracian, permission pending.