Sunday, May 1, 2011

Maintaining Freedom

angels call

The more I study the Alexander Technique, the more I see what an amalgamation of habits I am. Working with a section of Senseless Loss this morning, I began using the Alexander practice of Inhibition. Several times instead of playing, I would pause and do another action.  Giving myself the AT directions, offering myself length and width.  After playing the section I would inhibit again. There is something about stopping an action, that keeps me present within my body.  In this presence there is the possibility of a release of a habitual way of using myself.  Then when I allow myself to move, there is a certain freedom.  I sense this freedom, I can hear it if I am sounding notes, but then at some point, the mother of all habits end gaining kicks in.  Happy with the results I want to get on with it, and then this gradual devolvement of my use occurs. Is this a habit of my learning process?  Two steps forward with one back?

When I just went to return to the guitar, I disrupted another habit.  As I was ready to put the guitar on, instead I just held it and began to walk around the room.  I switched the guitar from my right and to my left hand.  Smiling, wondering how much subtle habit my be triggered by the very act of putting on my guitar.  Writing this now with a certain lightness inside, wondering what might come next.

Moving back to the guitar, this time I did about 30 seconds of shaking Qi Gong to introduce a different element of freedom. Just because the walking was a successful disruption, I do not want to just create another habit.  This time I played the part with an ease and grace that has eluded me to this point.  Playing it one more time, I then played through Here We Are.  My intent was twofold - to allow this ease to penetrate an older work and to not keeping playing the difficult section of Senseless Loss and dilute the experience.

I was going to play through the section one more time before breakfast.  Instead, I visualized myself playing through this section with ease and grace. 

1 comment:

  1. My experience has been that stopping as you describe broadens or renews my perceptual field, and increases mindfulness. It has also been my experience that after a while stopping, and returning to one's self becomes a habit itself, which is mostly beneficial, but has some pitfalls too.