The Last Practice

Reflecting on what I should turn my attention to in my practice today, I thought about this being my last practice of the week.  Is there some technique or piece or my overall work to which I should bring to completion?  But what if this was my "last practice" ever?  I do not know when my life will end, nor when an accident or disease might manifest that would change me forever.  What then would I practice if I knew this was it?  Would I be hard on myself or relish in the joy of making music?  Would my awareness be such that I listened on a deeper level, played with greater passion?

Suppose I made the awareness of the possibility that this is my last practice an ongoing "first practice" when I sat down with my guitar?  Suppose I developed this awareness of the preciousness of life as I began any activity?  What might emerge from the shadows of this level of attention to the precious present moment?  Music, peace, and  love?  Stillness, clarity, and joy?  Might I be grateful for the time I have to practice, for the body that still responds well, for a beautiful instrument and life itself?  One way to find out.

Photo by Ken Bosma

Finding the Space

Just a thought away,

a breath away.

Away within

all is one.

Supported by Earth

while reaching the Heavens.

Attend to our thinking,

our hearts, 

then move with Grace,

ease, awareness.

Be, just be 

in 

this 

space.

Away within.

Begin again.

With just one thought,

just one breath.

Begin again.

Let go of notions,

let go your spine

Find the space

in which you are.

Begin again.

Away within.

Photo by Moyan Brenn

Picking Up the Pieces, Again

There was once two musicians ...

At times our music was full of dissonance with pages of rests between the bursts of twisted & tortured melodies that harkened the music of the past and laid out structure for our music of the future.  Silence was needed between the pieces to absorb  the intense feelings generated by our scores of misunderstanding. Occasional glimmering melodies would emerge from our miasma mist of uncertainty; two musicians reading the score of the music of life in the traditions in which we were trained.


One day we took a chance, composing a brief divertimento based solely in love.  Hearkening pieces of beauty & wonderment of our youth, this tiny work in the canons of music struck a vibrant harmony within & without the players.  Sometimes the Muse whispers, and sometimes she Roars with a force that penetrates deeply even into the hearts of the deaf,  illuminating and magnifying the notes  needing to be played now.  These rare performances, requiring years of dedicated preparation, change the players, change the world. The notes resonating and reverberating in the hearts of the beyond.

A New Take on Listening

This afternoon I attended a performance that is part of the 66th American Music Festival - Personal Visions at the Nation Gallery of Art in Washington, DC.  Here was the program:

 

 JACK Quartet
Eric Huebner, pianist
David Felder, guest composer Lewis Nielson, guest composer
Morton Feldman (1926 – 1987) Intermission I (1950)
Lewis Nielson (b. 1950)
Le Journal du Corps (2010)*
Roger Reynolds (b. 1935) imagE/piano (2007)*
David Felder
Stuck-stücke for String Quartet (2007, revised 2008)*
Stefan Wolpe
Form for Piano (1959)*
John Zorn (b. 1953) The Dead Man (1990)* 


The Feldman, Reynolds, and Wolpe works were for solo piano, and the other works String Quartets performed by the Jack Quartet.  Challenging music at times, played with superb musicality in a lovely setting. My ears relish the opportunity to hear new live music, especially pieces I may never have a chance to hear live again.  Of course sometime the pieces are a challenge to listen to, but today for me these works all had that magic within.  

Le Journal du Corps by Lewie Nielson used the String Quartet in very imaginative, almost playful ways.  I had my eyes closed for a few minutes at the beginning and then began to watch the performers.  As I watched, I heard myself saying how could anyone hear this kind of music, let alone be able to notate it for others.  I was mesmerized at the technical abilities of the players and their concentration.  And I became distracted, now unable to listen.  What had happened?  The wandering chatter also happens when I'm practicing at times, and throughout my life.

But here I was listening to an amazing effort, all that was required was to listen and I was not.  Thinking of the Alexander Technique and my recent and ongoing experiments with "negative directions" I told myself.  I am not listening to this piece of music.  By the third direction, the mind had quieted.  I closed my eyes taking in this art for the ears.  A couple more times during the performance the direction was used again.  So simple. So powerful.  May I continue to quiet the voices and be able to respond.

Photo by Bill Strain

How Do You Cry?

How to use 20 minutes to assist me in reaching my various goals today?  That's what I had left to work with before leaving my home for an appointment.  Sure I could read or bring order to our home, but those would happen anyhow.  I needed to move something else forward if only a bit.  I decided to listen to a couple quick recordings of new pieces I made yesterday on my mp3 recorder.

I had a couple reasons for this one of which I can learn how I am playing the pieces and know what to focus my practice on later.  And I need a good enough version to send off to a friend who is transcribing pieces for me for an upcoming release.  I was fairly certain that one of the three takes of The Call would satisfy this, but I needed find it.  I also listened to takes of Forgive Me for future practice purposes.

Jotting down some quick notes on Forgive Me which arose in memory of my departed sister Sharon, I thought of the person I was to meet.  They have suffered some incredible losses and are still in the grieving process.  I decided to take a copy of my release from a few years back, Scattered Hearts, with me to give to them.  Three of the pieces on Scattered Hearts stem directly from the death of family and friends.  A couple others deal with loss in a different manner.  And yes there is also Joy present throughout the CD.  When I gave this to my friend, who said they cry a lot, I heard myself say I cry through my guitar. 

Photo by H Koopdelaney

Offering Space

What art offers is space - a certain breathing room for the spirit.
                                   John Updike






Do I accept the offering?                          Can I accept the offering?




                                 Do I add to the offering?

                             

                                  Breathing with hope.

                            
                       Today is the day to make Your Offering

                                          Will You?



First Photo by Justus Hayes

Second Photo by US Army
                                           


                                      

Questioning My Practice

    While organizing some piles of paper these past days, I twice found the question on different papers "does playing with intensity have to involve muscular tension?" If I've written it down twice, this question must arise frequently enough to need attention, Last night I decided to address this question in my next practice.  What does "playing with intensity" mean?  I thought I knew, but as I looked at this question today, I quickly became unclear.  When I play, I am releasing sound. Then what does it mean to release sound with intensity?  Is it volume, emotion or both, even more?

As I began my practice I looked to answer this question.  An answer was not arriving and I was not sure that one would.  The word intensity seems to imply tension, but then tension gets in the way of playing.  Perhaps I need to better define intensity. The dictionary says - exceptionally great concentration, power or force.  Then I recalled playing basketball as a young man, when finally after years of practice and playing I could make a move to the hoop with power.   Why this arrived in my mind then I have no idea, but I sensed I was onto something.

Making a power move in basketball while intense required control, strength, grace and intent. Mind and body connected for one purpose.  Now apply this to guitar.  Release the power of the piece being played.  Perhaps think of it in terms of energy - release the energy of the piece, using right effort.  Even release the emphasis on the hands while playing.  Let the whole body, mind and soul play the notes.

How to access this power?  How to find the power without tension and find it consistently?

I began working with a few musical phrases, then moved onto the piece Senseless Loss.   Using the Alexander Technique directions I had a good sense of my body but something was missing.  How might I apply Missy Vineyard's Negative Directions?  The obvious one was I am not playing with power.  Then recalling that the basketball move required my whole body I played with directing I am not playing with my whole body.  Progress was being made here.  What I have noticed in the past and once again today with negative directions, is that something happens in the brain.

I can not explain what it is, a disruption of habitual thinking, a different neural network kicking in or a combination of these and other aspects.  I do know that when I uses negative directions the body and mind behave differently.  In Alexandrian terms we are psychophysical beings. When the mind changes so does the body and vice versa.  By using AT principles I can work on my overall use, I can change.  More explorations to follow. Stay tuned.
   

Photo by Shaheen Lakhan