Be Alive in a Sea of Change

Practicing a set for performance is different from fantasizing about playing the set for imaginary people.  The first is working on the stamina of playing the various pieces each with it's own technical challenges and emotional arisings. This also allows me to determine how the flow of moods and tempi interact with one another.  Pretending in the mind about any aspect of a performance or its' impact merely detracts from the music.

Yet the mind will wander by forecasting into the future or holding onto the past.  This happens within any given piece with anticipating difficult sections or whether I can build up the emotional content of the work and by hanging onto a mistake.  To just remain with the notes being played sets the stage for what is to come and for what has come.  Remaining present with the process in rehearsal or performance ensures music has a chance to arrive.

If I can be aware & alive in rehearsal, I have a much better chance chance of being alive within the sea of change of performance.

I will be performing two sets at Takoma Porch on Saturday May 16, 2015 at 4pm.  Over 40 diverse musical acts will be performing on porches around the City of Takoma Park.  I hope to see you there.

Photo by jeronimo sanz

Awaken

Awaken was the word for today that I chose or that perhaps chose me as I completed my Qi Gong practice this morning.  Awaken to the precious moments of life is the aim, but how to achieve this?  By following my breath, and by using various mindfulness of the body practices, including the Alexander Technique, I can waken to the here and now.  Almost immediately I think, will I remember to breath, to come into a relationship with myself?  Why am I concerned about the future opportunities of this day, just be awake and aware right now?  So elusive to remain present.  So easy to be carried away by habit, thinking, or the actions of others.  When I do wake up to this moment, I can touch joy and peace.  When I do wake up to this moment, I conserve my energies and can exercise a choice in how to use myself in the work in front of me.

During a beautiful spring morning commute, I come to rest at a traffic light.   Breathing in the sparkling sunlight in the tree tops, I hear the sounds of The Who, wafting in from someones radio encouraging me with the refrain " You Better, You Better!"  Smiling, I release 300 facial muscles, relishing the beauty of  this simple ordinary moment, With noticing this moment, I transform the moment into one that is alive. My spirit soars as I connect with my body with the AT directions, allowing my spine to lengthen and widen within the confines on my car.  With the subtle release provided by the AT work, my mindfulness is deepened, my body relaxing into driving, without concern for the destination - just driving.

Twice during morning the words of "You Better" arise in my mind.  Enjoying how I can allow my monkey mind to invite me back to this moment with music from my youth.  Usually the concept of monkey mind is viewed in a negative light, but today as this ear worm beckons to me, I see my view of monkey mind shift positively.  During both of these reminders I connect with my breath and my body.  Tending to the necessary tasks of my professional day, while waking to life, shifts my state to one of gratitude.  So much easier to accomplish much, when energy is not wasted in emotional shifts and fits.

While walking down the hall I notice my left hand is tense and possibly assuming "the position" that David uncovered on Tuesday evening during our AT session.  By thinking thoughts of lengthening my left arm, I notice a tightness in my left elbow.  Perhaps this is related to the tension in the hand.  While breathing and connecting with my left arm I sense the long muscle within my bicep that is always tight when I do Qi Gong.  I sense lifetime of holding on is present in this arm.  I wonder how my guitar playing will be affected as I learn to let go of this manifestation of unnecessary tension?

Tonight as I played, I did not notice any shift in my use of the left hand and arm.  I am not surprised by this; habits unfurl slowly.  The memory of the body, besides holding muscular patterns of use, also retains emotional information.  So much there, hidden beneath my awareness.  Perhaps deemed useful at some point in time, most likely developed unconsciously.  Awakening requires patience and dedication, just like guitar playing.  The playing provides the impetus to look and probe, and like the breath provides sustenance for my being.  Tommy, can you hear me?

Alive Day 4

                           Sign and photo by my granddaughter.

Close to performance time I was looking back to the beginning of this particular project in what my granddaughter dubbed "the ultimate green room."  Suddenly I touched my beginnings with Guitar Craft. Somehow this series of performances now appeared larger in my personal cycle than I have realized. There is much for me to digest. I am seeing how I function in performance. Finding what works for me, how much can I give, how far I have to go. But so much is possible when I commit to the process and allow others to support.

Today was overwhelming. I teared up in the green room for 21 years of the impossible. So very grateful to Joann, Tony, Robert, Sandra, Peter, Steve and all the others who have worked with me, challenged me, and supported me over the years.

Alive Two

                                        Photo by mauspray

The second performance of the four night live recording project is complete. Two very supportive small audiences that also wish for music to come alive. Overall tonight my playing felt better, though the tape holds the answer. We did one improvisation, where  I invited the audience to play with temple bells and then improvised over/under this. We all had fun with this.

I decided to revise the set list for tomorrow night. Change the energy flow a bit and perhaps get the rushed tempo in Dandelion Wish down to where I can play the piece. Very animated conversation after the set with some dear friends. The creative spirit speaks in so many ways.

I am finding it interesting to have gigs on successive nights. Tony and Joann have been an amazing support team. Don't leave home without them!

Of course I need to change my strings again tomorrow, and pick up batteries, and stay out of the way.

First Night of Alive

I was still tired when I woke today and wanted to fall back asleep. The phone rang and it was from work. The problem was resolved immediately but I was awake. Qi Gong with my wife followed by meditation.
 A rare weekday breakfast in the yard and then we began preparing the space. We worked on this until 10:30 am then off to do some errands.

I picked Tony Geballe up at 1pm. With mics and lap top in tow he was ready to get to work. A light lunch and we began setting the space at 3pm. We completed the sound check at 5:15. We had a light dinner of zucchini feta pancakes and veggie sausage and then I rested for 20 minutes. Being as tired as I was negative thoughts about myself and this live recording process were invading my mind. I began watering the postive seeds in me, knowing that these negative thoughts are not truth.

The first of the audience arrived promptly at the appointed hour of 7pm followed shortly by the remaining members. I finished warming up and began to play at 7:30pm. The set-list was:

Gathered Hearts
Steppin' Stones
Matka Boska
Scattered Hearts
Livin' the Dream
Dancin' Free
Kinnara
Lost Ballon
Dandelion Wish
Here We Are

Peter suggested an improvisation. I passed out three temple bells and Joann had another bell. I used me ebow. A second improv also occurred. Peter wanted to do something together. First he played In a Silent Way and then Shifting Shadows. We then played a circulation together.