Senseless Loss

While working on the etude this morning, it's name appeared based on certain thoughts and feelings that have arisen within me during the past 12 hours - Senseless Loss.  This piece is dedicated to the victims of gun violence.  I have been working with this etude in varying capacities for the past two months.  Originally conceived as a fingerstyle piece, to develop my right hand tremolo technique, I actually switched to using a pic.  All the years of practicing with a pic, have my speed & evenness with the tremolo in place, allowing me to work out the tricky left hand positions.  Not that there has also not been issues arising with the right hand.  Just feels right to play this with a pic.

With this recognition of the name, something else has entered into this piece.  Perhaps just another fantasy of my imagination, but there is a yearning within me now to play this piece with passion.  Life is short; life is precious, and too often wasted by how easy it is to pull the trigger in my beloved America.

Tuning the Heart

                                  Photo by James Landry

On Sunday I made a list of five items related to music, that I wanted to work with this week.  One of which was to attend the Collaboration Laboratory.  I promptly forgot three of the other four, and did nothing related to accomplishing the other one I remembered.  Then last night I pulled out the list and got to working on two of the other goals.  Good progress was made and after dinner tonight I was prepared to return to these.


A comment on a friends link on Facebook, brought up an old issue with me, one where my emotional entanglement is still alive.  Going back & forth a bit with this person, brought up times from my youth, which still have the power to disturb me.  Nothing wrong with looking at issues, but when my emotions are flaring and the mind engaging them, I find it difficult to do anything well.  I played for a bit, and then took a walk to let go of the energy and to reflect.  Back with the guitar I began working with the Etude in 7, and coupling this with ear training.  Focusing my listening in this way, brought me back to what I am doing right now.  Finding the space I was in with the Alexander Technique was also useful.

As I continued this, I began to allow the emotions I was feeling to inform the music in the Etude.  This is a tremolo piece, sad and reflective.  I began to dedicate this piece to the victims of gun violence.  Perhaps a title other than Etude will emerge.  Here in the land of the free and the home of the brave, there is so much violence.  I am so grateful that my musical pursuits have led to the transformation of much fear within me.  Fear that often was expressed as anger.  Time to return to the guitar.  To feel those vibrations against my chest and allow them to tune my heart.

Soar & Glide

Awake at 5 am this morning, listening to the birds sing praises to the end of night and celebrating another glorious sunrise.  Inspired by the birds I decided to seize the opportunity and play for 15 minutes.  This could have been longer, but I did some work on my right hand nails.

My wife joined me for Qi Gong, and while doing one of the Crane forms this thought came into my mind - May you soar and glide throughout the day.   This sentiment returned to me during the Collaboration Laboratory meeting tonight.  A collection of 7 poets, 5 musician, and 2 dancers, with 2 of the musicians also being poets.  As a way of introducing ourselves to one another, each presented a poem, music, or movement.  Then the process for investigation in this particular Lab project was introduced.  A poet would present a line and then the musicians and dancers would improvise.  Perhaps the poet would be influenced by what was seen and heard and incorporate this into the poem.  Some of the poets repeated the line, some changed it, and at times others added words.

In all we undertook this four times with discussion in between.  Some of the poets repeated the line, some changed it, and at times others added words.  A really good group of articulate people with a broad depth of experiences.  There were moments when we did soar & glide, which were very satisfying.  More questions raised than answers found,  a certain feeling one another out.  Laughter, wonder, magic and the mundane all arose and evolved.  A gentle stretch, connections made, and an evening well spent.

Look Out

                                    Photo by James Landry

Tomorrow, I will be attending the Collaboration Laboratory, which will be a group of poets, dancers, and musicians looking to share their work and explore possible collaborations.  I was invited by the organizer, who finds something of interest in my work.  A good thing all in all.  But tonight my mind is like James photo.  Either chattering away, not there, or fixed but not focused.  Who will be there?  What will I do?  Will they like me?  Ah welcome to my life, my mind.

I've been watching myself long enough to know that this is another of the 1000 faces of fear manifesting subtly.  What to do?  Bring my attention back to my body, then the guitar, breath out, and play.  Listen to what I'm playing and keep returning to this moment, the only moment of my life.  As the Guitar Craft aphorism, that I've quoted a few times in the blog reminds me, we begin again constantly.

I remind myself that entering into unknown situations are good for me.  I'll be stretched, learn, and keep moving.  One thing is certain, if I'm still breathing, I will show up on time and be as open as possible.

Movin' On With AT and The Piece

A beautiful Easter morning with breakfast in the back yard as the birds sang.  Sounds of neighborhood children shouting joyfully as they found another egg brought smiles to my face.  Then off to work on building a tree house for our granddaughter.  My role, primarily to hold the heavy timbers in place until they were secured.  Frequently during this patient labor I practiced AT, as the level was used and screws found and drilled into place.  I'm not used to this kind of labor anymore, and though I may be stiff tomorrow, I'm certain the AT work affected my use positively today.

We arrived back home beat and happy.  After shower and dinner, I hit the floor for a lie down.  My back so grateful for the support, as I contemplated my body.  Slowly but surely the spine lengthened, the back widened, and my shoulders released.  When I rose, I was still tired but restored.  Moving to my guitar, I began to improvise a melody, just having fun and being open to the possible.  I began to work on the Etude in 7, but my heart was not into this.  Pausing to direct via AT and take in the space of the room, I decided to work with Movin' On.  I worked with this for close to 40 minutes, exploring and looking for where this might go.  Then a simple chord inversion opened another door.

A quick break to extend Easter Wishes via the phone to family and a friend and then I returned to the guitar.  Movin' On began to develop further.   An interesting chromatic melody emerged taking the piece in a direction I was attracted to.  I noticed that my back and  my left shoulder were tired so I hit the floor for another lie down.  Happy that the piece was developing; grateful I had the sense to pause and take care of my body.   After the lie down,  I played through the new section a few times and found a possible ending.  Turning on the tape machine I played through the piece twice.  During the second take at least two happy accidents occurred, breathing more life into the notes.  Letting go of the guitar, I listened to the final take, satisfied with what I had captured on tape, I completed my practice.

Moving On

    This morning I returned to the melody that came to me last night.  I heard the mood captured by our friends letting go.  Tonight I played with this more, and the first two sections are working, now what to do?  The piece is not complete, yet I have not heard where the music wants to go. 



Well our friends are still with us, so my first order will be to play it for them and my wife and see what might happen.  One of many powerful lessons I learned in Guitar Craft is that music needs listeners to really come alive.

I just played what I have and nothing new came out, but I did hear that these notes have life and I trust that the piece will continue.  Back to work with this some more.

Letting Go

Rain came to the area today, so while I'm still congested, my breathing is easier.  A delightful dinner with old friends tonight, friends who used to live around the corner.  Today they cleaned their home in which they raised a family for the final time.  On Monday, new life will enter this space and make a new home.  Letting go, moving on, all part of this life.  I'm happy that they are with us this weekend, to allow our home provide them a familiar space in which to be, as they complete this phase of their life.  After conversation, they moved to rest and I to play.

After warming up, I did some work with the Etude in 7, and then began to just play.  A melody appeared. And then the melody lengthened taking me on a journey for an hour.  Teasing me, urging me to find the space within the melody, within me.  Let go of my desires, just be with the notes that I had.  Slowly a possibility for the next section appeared.  Playing with this, wondering if I would be up late, taking note of what the muse was offering.  A shift of mood with the piece came out.  A good shift, one that let go of what was already established.  Recording what I had, noticing my tiredness, I decided to let go and trust that the muse will return again, as long as I do.  Slowly I am learning there is a time for rest, a time to let go ...