Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Through the Mist

Rocks in the sea through the mist after the big winter storm, Ocean Beach San Francisco 1/4/2008 - 1103

The flu.  Slowing down my body, zapping my energy, and just no fun.  Reading and resting at home, and also addressing what I can of my professional duties.  But mostly, just feeling awful. I did not play at all yesterday, though I did listen to Malevaje, Live in Italy 1999,  a wonderful guitar trio recording.  I noticed how the music began to make me feel better.  I've read that music causes the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that elicits good feelings.  All of us have experienced this in life, but on a day like yesterday the change was palpable and much needed.

This afternoon, wanting to play, but knowing that my system was not up to it, I decided to listen through mp3 recordings I needed to organize.  As I was listening through various takes of the same work in progress, I again noticed an elevation in my mood.  After 30 minutes or so, I let go of this task to rest.  The work in progress I had listened to the most continued to resound in my mind.  Through the mist of my illness, I felt useful and whole for a while.

I did pick up my guitar for a few minutes, to investigate an idea I heard on two of the earlier recordings which was then lost in later efforts. The idea does fit the piece, and while not much work was done, progress was made.   I think I'll listen some more now, as once again the disease is getting the better of me.

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